The Lunch Room

When I was a kid, I thought of teachers as authority figures who assigned me work to do.  I never thought they lived at school or anything; I knew they had a home and a family.  But I didn't really think about them being friends and eating lunch together and talking about me and my classmates to each other.  I wasn't aware that Mr. Zeck could tell Mrs. Johnson that I copped an attitude when he told me I was going to lose points on my homework for not cutting off the fluffy sides of my notebook paper before turning it in. I'm not sure if I would have acted any differently to certain teachers in order to win favor with others, but I may not have appreciated my attitude being a topic of discussion among them.

As a teacher, I'm not a saint or anything- I do talk about students to other teachers.  I try not to say negative things and I try to stay away from the gossipy topics like "Tommy's mom is a crack addict and I heard he's living in a shelter with his two younger siblings" (although, sadly, this is a reality with some of my students).  What I really wish is that we teachers could carry on a conversation without having to talk about our students.  It is sad how much of the lunchroom conversation is centered around our students.  Shouldn't we savor these precious few minutes during which we are not responsible for children?

In addition to the lack of non-school-related lunchroom conversation, I've also found that teachers are very clique-y.  The first school I taught at was very small and all the staff knew each other and went out for drinks after school together.  Even though we developed a really close bond, we were always open and welcoming to new teachers.  We'd all been there- it's hard to make friends, even, or maybe especially, as an adult!  This year, at my new school, the teachers are divided into teams.  I'm not a part of a team because I'm an elective teacher, and all the other elective teachers eat at their desks so as not to lose precious prep time.  But being the self-professed outgoing, social butterfly I am, I decided to eat lunch in the staff room so I could meet new people.  My first two days were really depressing.  The teachers I ate with were not welcoming and didn't involve me in conversation.  They even went as far as to turn their backs to me so I was physically cut-off from the rest of the table!  My third day I ate in my room because I couldn't take it another day.  I tried a different lunch shift the next day and it went much better.  This team was much more welcoming and willing to include an outsider in their lunch conversation, which included much less student/school chat.  I was so relieved!  I learned 3 new names and enjoyed the loud chatter and laughter that surrounded, and included, me.

What this lunch room experience has taught me:

1. Teachers are not as friendly as they seem
2. Teachers struggle to be social, so they latch on to the only common ground they think they have- their students
3. Don't give up trying to make friends- some teachers are nicer than others