I've written before about culture shock within my home state. Now that I'm in my fourth year of teaching in the inner city setting, I've grown used to the things that used to shock me. Every now and then though something will happen that will remind me that I'm not from around here.
There is always an element of risk when teaching a class that involves children handling instruments. Much of the time the risk is not really mine because the students will rent instruments from an outside source or will, against my strong urging, buy the instruments themselves. When it comes to the big instruments, cellos and basses in my case, the school rents to the student because the cost of renting from somewhere else is too high for most families. Over the years we've purchased many cellos and basses of various sizes as well a handful of violins and violas then charge a small fee for families to rent an instrument. The instruments are nothing special; they're good enough for students to play but not too nice because, let's face it, middle school kids don't always handle much of anything with special care.
Last year I had a transfer student from within the district who had rented a bass from the other middle school. She stopped showing up to class and didn't attend the concert at the end of the year and I thought, well, we're never going to see that bass again. I figured the family had moved or something. I made several attempts to contact the family but never got a hold of anyone. Well, lo and behold, the girl signed up for orchestra this year! I though, OK, good, we can keep track of that bass. I'll just need to make sure I send home a new "Instrument Rental Agreement" contract so we can have documentation of where the bass is. Every class I reminded her, "Hey, I need that form, don't forget..." and each day she had some excuse as to why she didn't have it. (I left it in my mom's car, I need a new one, it rained and the form got wet and it's drying, my mom signed the wrong thing, etc...) One day she came to me and told me she needed to talk to me in my office. I shut the door and she broke down crying. She told me that last year her family was in some kind of financial hardship and they pawned the bass. She begged me not to kick her out of orchestra and that her mom was trying to get the bass back but just recently it had been sold. She said she'd work extra hard to practice in school even though she didn't have a bass at home. I gave her a hug and told her, "Sweet heart, your family's financial needs are not your responsibility, this is not your fault. I'm not going to kick you out of orchestra, don't worry, I'll figure out what we need to do." She wanted me to call her mom but I decided I should wait until I'd talked to my administrator to figure out what needed to happen next.
I knew something was up but I'd figured she broke the bass or lost it or something which is why she hadn't showed up for concerts or anything at the end of the year. Never would I have imagined her parents would have put her in that kind of position. I mean, how desperate must you have been do something like that to your child? And the poor thing had been lying to me about it for a year! I'm in the process of getting advice from my administrator and colleagues, but it sounds like we are going to issue a bill and tell the family if they don't pay the $1950.00 to replace the bass, we will file a police report for theft. I'm not in suburbia any longer...
Something else that happened that broke my heart involved a student who still hadn't gotten a violin after the second week of school. I'd already had to remove several students from my class because I'd run out of school violins to rent out so if a student couldn't rent their own instrument, they had to drop orchestra. I had given this particular student a little more time than the others because he was always engaged in class even without the instrument and made it a point to borrow his friend's instrument and try everything we were doing. Plus he told me that his mom was going to get the instrument Friday. The instrument did not arrive on Friday so I called the store and asked for a status update and the man on the phone said the student's parents needed to call them as soon as possible. I found out the next week that he couldn't rent an instrument because his parents didn't have a social security number. I told him I would do what I could to locate a violin for him to use and it turned out his aunt rented one for him instead. Sadly, I know this is not the only case of my students being children of illegals. There was a happy ending though and the kid is thriving in orchestra, so, that's good I guess.
Now for my woes. 32 weeks pregnant at this point and everything is just big big big. My worst symptoms of late have been swollen feet and hands. I call my feet "Shrek feet" (stole the term from a colleague) because they are huge and creased at the ankle an they don't fit into any of my shoes. I had to buy some comfy Nike sandals that I wear with everything when I'm not wearing my tennis shoes, which need to be loosened so much I can't tie them. It's a disgusting blow to my fashion ego. My "sausage fingers" are super attractive too. It's difficult to play in tune on the E string on my violin at school. I've developed a little sympathy for my large-handed boys who never play in tune. My heart burn has raged it's ugly head again with a hotter and more painful vengeance. I don't sleep at night for at least one of several reasons. 1. I'm too hot. 2. I can't find a comfortable position despite my body pillow. 3. My heartburn is too painful. 4. I have to get up to pee at least five different times then try to fall back to sleep. 5. My brain just randomly wakes me up. 6. I get hungry and have to get up and eat something. I'm lucky if I get a solid 5 hours. I feel like a zombie as I walk into school. My poor students... My final most recent symptom is that the tips of my fingers in my right hand go numb. It's mostly my ring and middle fingers, but today my pointer finger was also numb. Very bizarre...
The good news is I have less than five weeks of school left before fall break; then I can sleep whenever I want. Correction: I can sleep whenever my body/brain allows me to sleep. I don't have to be on my feet all the time and I can do a few things around the house instead of having to be propped up on the couch whenever I'm not at school in order for the swelling to go down. And before I know it, I'll have a brand new set of woes, accompanied by my sweet baby boy.
Tuesday, September 10, 2013
Tuesday, August 13, 2013
Second year: Ima pro, what.
I am thick into the third week of school now and I find myself constantly comparing this year to last year. I have done a Venn diagram ("Venn" being the Final Jeopardy answer tonight which I knew by the way...) in my head several times just for the heck of it. Mostly though I ask myself if certain things are better or worse.
Better: my teaching. All around, I think I can credit my improved teaching to an extreme increase in patience. I'm not constantly frustrated because I haven't been cramming too much information into one lesson and expecting way too much from my students. When kids are being kids (e.g. talking, plucking, being stupid, asking too many questions, not using common sense, etc...) I don't feel as annoyed as I used to. I am very good at waiting for quiet before I give instructions and I've been better at letting kids do things themselves even though I could do it faster.
Worse: my overall physical being. Well, I guess it depends on how I look at it. Yeah yeah, I have the miracle of life inside me. However my feet are swollen, my back aches, and I am way slow. It is also hard to squeeze through chairs and stands to reach a student's collapsed violin wrist without whacking some poor twelve-year-old's scroll with my jigungous belly. Or ass, let's be honest.
Better: my 8th grade. Holy smokes I love working with these kids. They are my babies that I started last summer and they are rock stars. I lost about twelve kids who decided to drop orchestra. A couple of them were decent, none were outstanding. All of my core players stuck with it though and now the group is stronger than ever. We're playing some tough literature and they are just eating it up!
Worse: the level of talent in the 7th grade. In general last year's bunch, my current 8th graders, were more talented I think. I have a lot of "special" kids this year that need plenty of TLC. It still astounds me that many of them can't open their instrument lockers. Seriously. I've been patient and helpful, but for real, how can you still not open your locker??? I had two kids sit for a half hour of class practicing opening their locks. They had to open them five times before they could join the group. And it took a half hour. Another kid that was really grinding my gears who I was sure would not show up with an instrument this week, which was the cut off for getting moved to a different class, walks in with an instrument, starter kit, and brand new shoulder rest! I couldn't believe it, I was ready to send him to guidance to change his schedule. The kicker is that he wants to play viola but he got a violin. Lord, beer me strength...
Better: my social life at school. Bottom line is I have more friends, people greet me with smiles and "Hello's" in the hall, and I enjoy lunch time. I think maybe people just like a pregnant lady, I dunno. Or I baked them into a quasi-friendship last year and they're just hoping for sweets. I brought banana bread today... What? I want everyone to like me!
Some characters:
A chubby violin boy with a stutter who comes and lightly taps me on the shoulder repeatedly until I acknowledge him. Sweeter than cherry pie. But stop poking me.
A four-foot nothing round-faced kid who had to drop orchestra because he couldn't get an instrument who walked all the way down to guidance but forgot why he was going them so just sat down under the stairs until some teacher discovered him. I got a phone call asking why he was there...
The smallest bass player I've ever seen who rubs his belly and asks, "How's Graham cookin'?" every time I see him. He also is never where he is supposed to be and I'm 90% sure he is going to break an instrument before the semester is over. Probably by "helping someone" across the room. I caught him trying to teach some violinist how to use their bow. Seriously, go back to your seat and stop messing people up.
Lenny from "Of Mice and Men" whose name is actually Lenny. Plays the cello.
My girl who gives me pictures every day. And describes how she sketched each line of each drawing and why she loves this character and have I seen "Legend of the Guardians?" No and you're weird. But go tape up your picture next to the last one you gave me.
A funny kid story to round off my first week:
One of my special kids, a cellist from this summer, cracked me up last week. I announced to the class, "Anyone who remembered their signed performance agreement and information sheet come form a line up here and you get a Jolly Rancher!" So the kids line up, hand me their paper, and pick a candy. My special cellist gets to the front of the line with no paper and he whispers, "I don't know what we're doing, I just got in line because everyone else was..." I tried not to burst out laughing. It turned out he actually had his paper and was able to retrieve it and get a piece of candy. A happy ending.
Better: my teaching. All around, I think I can credit my improved teaching to an extreme increase in patience. I'm not constantly frustrated because I haven't been cramming too much information into one lesson and expecting way too much from my students. When kids are being kids (e.g. talking, plucking, being stupid, asking too many questions, not using common sense, etc...) I don't feel as annoyed as I used to. I am very good at waiting for quiet before I give instructions and I've been better at letting kids do things themselves even though I could do it faster.
Worse: my overall physical being. Well, I guess it depends on how I look at it. Yeah yeah, I have the miracle of life inside me. However my feet are swollen, my back aches, and I am way slow. It is also hard to squeeze through chairs and stands to reach a student's collapsed violin wrist without whacking some poor twelve-year-old's scroll with my jigungous belly. Or ass, let's be honest.
Better: my 8th grade. Holy smokes I love working with these kids. They are my babies that I started last summer and they are rock stars. I lost about twelve kids who decided to drop orchestra. A couple of them were decent, none were outstanding. All of my core players stuck with it though and now the group is stronger than ever. We're playing some tough literature and they are just eating it up!
Worse: the level of talent in the 7th grade. In general last year's bunch, my current 8th graders, were more talented I think. I have a lot of "special" kids this year that need plenty of TLC. It still astounds me that many of them can't open their instrument lockers. Seriously. I've been patient and helpful, but for real, how can you still not open your locker??? I had two kids sit for a half hour of class practicing opening their locks. They had to open them five times before they could join the group. And it took a half hour. Another kid that was really grinding my gears who I was sure would not show up with an instrument this week, which was the cut off for getting moved to a different class, walks in with an instrument, starter kit, and brand new shoulder rest! I couldn't believe it, I was ready to send him to guidance to change his schedule. The kicker is that he wants to play viola but he got a violin. Lord, beer me strength...
Better: my social life at school. Bottom line is I have more friends, people greet me with smiles and "Hello's" in the hall, and I enjoy lunch time. I think maybe people just like a pregnant lady, I dunno. Or I baked them into a quasi-friendship last year and they're just hoping for sweets. I brought banana bread today... What? I want everyone to like me!
Some characters:
A chubby violin boy with a stutter who comes and lightly taps me on the shoulder repeatedly until I acknowledge him. Sweeter than cherry pie. But stop poking me.
A four-foot nothing round-faced kid who had to drop orchestra because he couldn't get an instrument who walked all the way down to guidance but forgot why he was going them so just sat down under the stairs until some teacher discovered him. I got a phone call asking why he was there...
The smallest bass player I've ever seen who rubs his belly and asks, "How's Graham cookin'?" every time I see him. He also is never where he is supposed to be and I'm 90% sure he is going to break an instrument before the semester is over. Probably by "helping someone" across the room. I caught him trying to teach some violinist how to use their bow. Seriously, go back to your seat and stop messing people up.
Lenny from "Of Mice and Men" whose name is actually Lenny. Plays the cello.
My girl who gives me pictures every day. And describes how she sketched each line of each drawing and why she loves this character and have I seen "Legend of the Guardians?" No and you're weird. But go tape up your picture next to the last one you gave me.
A funny kid story to round off my first week:
One of my special kids, a cellist from this summer, cracked me up last week. I announced to the class, "Anyone who remembered their signed performance agreement and information sheet come form a line up here and you get a Jolly Rancher!" So the kids line up, hand me their paper, and pick a candy. My special cellist gets to the front of the line with no paper and he whispers, "I don't know what we're doing, I just got in line because everyone else was..." I tried not to burst out laughing. It turned out he actually had his paper and was able to retrieve it and get a piece of candy. A happy ending.
Friday, July 26, 2013
The Summer of George!
Another summer has come to a close already for this teacher. I shall refer to this summer as The Summer of George because I'm a Seinfeld fan and because Kate finally had her baby and his name is George so now we can all stop talking about it right? Oh who am I kidding, I clap with excitement every time I see a picture of that little kid...
I know school is just around the corner because I've begun having stress dreams. They are always the same: some variation of me not being able to the control the kids and they end up running the classroom while I scream my head off and no one listens to me. Sometimes I'm missing an article of clothing, sometimes I've forgotten it's actually the day of the concert but we don't know any songs, sometimes I meet with my principal and call her the wrong name over and over. I wake up angry and frustrated. They are so not cool. Let's not dwell on them
June flew by quickly and mostly rainy. I have a great new batch of beginners. I have a HUGE cello/bass section this year. They are not the brightest either- not a great combo. There is also an autistic kid who chose the cello thinking he could sit down and play in about 5 minutes and who loudly sighs every time I ask the group to do something that has to do with position or set-up. I also have a 4-foot-nothing ADD bass player who I am 100% positive will break an instrument before the end of the first week of school. I'm not sure if I am hoping these two boys end up in the same class so I can have that one bad class then its over with or if I am hoping they're split up so each class is only marginally horrible. My violin/viola group is very sweet and eager to learn. A little too eager some days when I had up to 5 kids show up over a half hour early to class. Come on guys, at least give me a lunch break! But they seem bright and shiny so they should be a fun class. My graduated 8th graders made me proud by showing up to the freshman orientation orchestra camp. All but two of my honors kids attended and made me proud. I had five excellent incoming 8th graders help out with the beginners every day of summer school. There was no incentive or nothing- they just came because they love orchestra. The best school-related news I received in June was that I am going to be given an orchestra homeroom! I am beyond ecstatic about this! It means that other than lunch duty, I will only have orchestra kids all day long. There are so many performance-based music teachers that would kill for this kind of set-up. Most teachers have to have at least one general music class or a study hall or something to that nature, but not me! So fortunate...
But the BEST overall news I received in June is that we are having a baby BOY! Graham Alexander Martin will be welcomed into the world sometime after my fall break. I've yet to decide whether I'll come back to school for the two weeks after fall break until I pop or if I'll just start my maternity leave at fall break. I'll have to see how I feel. I'll get to my pregnancy symptoms in a mo though...
July was everything I was dreaming it would be. The first week of my vacation I played a couple Carmel Symphony gigs. I love working with these people. They were so sweet and threw me a little baby shower. Several people pitched in a bought us diapers and gift cards and cute baby clothes. It was so generous. It made me feel guilty for all the times we were asked to chip in for other people's showers and I forgot to bring something... The second week of July was spent helping out at a couple all day high school camps and prepping for vacation. I cleaned the house, did the laundry and packed two successful carry-on bags for our trip to the Dominican Republic. We left on a Wednesday night for a Thursday morning flight out of Chicago. We got home Monday evening. It was the perfect little get-away. It was an all-inclusive resort right on the coast. We spent every day on the beach alternating sleeping, eating, and walking. A pregnant lady's dream... The third week of July I spent recovering from vacation and hosting my little brother-in-law. He mostly spent his days playing PlayStation on the couch so I didn't do much in the entertaining department. I unpacked and did laundry and cooked. For the weekend, we drove home for a going-away party for my other brother-in-law who is moving to California. It was a nice get-together with family up at their lake-front property. The fourth week of July I spent doing practically nothing. This has prepared me to go back to school because I felt a little bored and lonely. I did very much enjoy the absolutely perfect weather, the sleeping-in, the late breakfasts/lunches, the reading books outside on the hammock in the shade, the taking of multiple naps, the watching of Price is Right and Ellen, the dog-snuggling, and the time to cook real dinners every night. However I have found myself counting the minutes until my husband gets home so I have someone to talk to other than the dog. I know I'll be eating my words after about a week and a half of middle school kids for company, but I feel rested and relaxed now.
Pregnancy symptoms have been a fun adventure. I have to say, I've enjoying my second trimester a lot. I didn't have a very tough first trimester though, so other than the extreme fatigue and having to work through it, trimester one was probably a little better than trimester two. I have more energy, but I've fattened up quite a bit, which makes everything just a little big uncomfortable. I've had an extremely bad case of heartburn- just constant burning regardless of what I eat. My doctor gave me some pills which help but I still have to be careful to eat smaller meals/snacks throughout the day and avoid greasy foods. Food has been a tough mountain to conquer because I literally could eat at any moment. I'm especially fond of eggs at this point as well as turkey sandwiches with provolone cheese and mayonnaise. I also like English muffins with peanut butter and jelly and a good watermelon. Man, now I want to eat- I'm telling you, it's not good. My latest symptoms have been back aches and constantly needing to pee. I have been going on a good 20-45 minute walk at least once a day but it's getting more and more taxing (obviously, the fatter I get.) I often have a hard time finding a comfortable position sitting on the couch and when I sleep. Every night I get up to use the bathroom no fewer than five times and more often it's seven or eight times. During the summer it's OK because I can sleep in until whenever I want. But as soon as school starts I may find myself more than a little grouchy in the mornings. Most enjoyably though is the fact that Graham is always on the move. I felt him moving early in the pregnancy- just little bubbles that could easily be mistaken as indigestion. Now he flips and kicks and rolls and punches all the time. I can tell when he's awake because he's moving! I can see him being quite the handful when he becomes a crawler...
I start my third trimester in two weeks. I don't want to be a doom and gloomer, but I think this one will be the toughest. I'm back to school and I'll be the biggest I've even been. The beginning of the year takes the most energy too because beginning string players take a lot of hands-on attention and walking around the room and fixing instruments and fielding stupid questions... eye yai yai, I need a nap just thinking about it. I think it will go by fast though because by the time my first concert is in the bag, I'll only be 4 weeks away from my due date!
During my last few days of freedom I plan on continuing my regimen of sleeping in, napping, and relaxing. I might make a short trip to school to set my room up and gather a few things together before my first official day. I can't complain about my summer though. It has been lovely!
I know school is just around the corner because I've begun having stress dreams. They are always the same: some variation of me not being able to the control the kids and they end up running the classroom while I scream my head off and no one listens to me. Sometimes I'm missing an article of clothing, sometimes I've forgotten it's actually the day of the concert but we don't know any songs, sometimes I meet with my principal and call her the wrong name over and over. I wake up angry and frustrated. They are so not cool. Let's not dwell on them
June flew by quickly and mostly rainy. I have a great new batch of beginners. I have a HUGE cello/bass section this year. They are not the brightest either- not a great combo. There is also an autistic kid who chose the cello thinking he could sit down and play in about 5 minutes and who loudly sighs every time I ask the group to do something that has to do with position or set-up. I also have a 4-foot-nothing ADD bass player who I am 100% positive will break an instrument before the end of the first week of school. I'm not sure if I am hoping these two boys end up in the same class so I can have that one bad class then its over with or if I am hoping they're split up so each class is only marginally horrible. My violin/viola group is very sweet and eager to learn. A little too eager some days when I had up to 5 kids show up over a half hour early to class. Come on guys, at least give me a lunch break! But they seem bright and shiny so they should be a fun class. My graduated 8th graders made me proud by showing up to the freshman orientation orchestra camp. All but two of my honors kids attended and made me proud. I had five excellent incoming 8th graders help out with the beginners every day of summer school. There was no incentive or nothing- they just came because they love orchestra. The best school-related news I received in June was that I am going to be given an orchestra homeroom! I am beyond ecstatic about this! It means that other than lunch duty, I will only have orchestra kids all day long. There are so many performance-based music teachers that would kill for this kind of set-up. Most teachers have to have at least one general music class or a study hall or something to that nature, but not me! So fortunate...
But the BEST overall news I received in June is that we are having a baby BOY! Graham Alexander Martin will be welcomed into the world sometime after my fall break. I've yet to decide whether I'll come back to school for the two weeks after fall break until I pop or if I'll just start my maternity leave at fall break. I'll have to see how I feel. I'll get to my pregnancy symptoms in a mo though...
July was everything I was dreaming it would be. The first week of my vacation I played a couple Carmel Symphony gigs. I love working with these people. They were so sweet and threw me a little baby shower. Several people pitched in a bought us diapers and gift cards and cute baby clothes. It was so generous. It made me feel guilty for all the times we were asked to chip in for other people's showers and I forgot to bring something... The second week of July was spent helping out at a couple all day high school camps and prepping for vacation. I cleaned the house, did the laundry and packed two successful carry-on bags for our trip to the Dominican Republic. We left on a Wednesday night for a Thursday morning flight out of Chicago. We got home Monday evening. It was the perfect little get-away. It was an all-inclusive resort right on the coast. We spent every day on the beach alternating sleeping, eating, and walking. A pregnant lady's dream... The third week of July I spent recovering from vacation and hosting my little brother-in-law. He mostly spent his days playing PlayStation on the couch so I didn't do much in the entertaining department. I unpacked and did laundry and cooked. For the weekend, we drove home for a going-away party for my other brother-in-law who is moving to California. It was a nice get-together with family up at their lake-front property. The fourth week of July I spent doing practically nothing. This has prepared me to go back to school because I felt a little bored and lonely. I did very much enjoy the absolutely perfect weather, the sleeping-in, the late breakfasts/lunches, the reading books outside on the hammock in the shade, the taking of multiple naps, the watching of Price is Right and Ellen, the dog-snuggling, and the time to cook real dinners every night. However I have found myself counting the minutes until my husband gets home so I have someone to talk to other than the dog. I know I'll be eating my words after about a week and a half of middle school kids for company, but I feel rested and relaxed now.
Pregnancy symptoms have been a fun adventure. I have to say, I've enjoying my second trimester a lot. I didn't have a very tough first trimester though, so other than the extreme fatigue and having to work through it, trimester one was probably a little better than trimester two. I have more energy, but I've fattened up quite a bit, which makes everything just a little big uncomfortable. I've had an extremely bad case of heartburn- just constant burning regardless of what I eat. My doctor gave me some pills which help but I still have to be careful to eat smaller meals/snacks throughout the day and avoid greasy foods. Food has been a tough mountain to conquer because I literally could eat at any moment. I'm especially fond of eggs at this point as well as turkey sandwiches with provolone cheese and mayonnaise. I also like English muffins with peanut butter and jelly and a good watermelon. Man, now I want to eat- I'm telling you, it's not good. My latest symptoms have been back aches and constantly needing to pee. I have been going on a good 20-45 minute walk at least once a day but it's getting more and more taxing (obviously, the fatter I get.) I often have a hard time finding a comfortable position sitting on the couch and when I sleep. Every night I get up to use the bathroom no fewer than five times and more often it's seven or eight times. During the summer it's OK because I can sleep in until whenever I want. But as soon as school starts I may find myself more than a little grouchy in the mornings. Most enjoyably though is the fact that Graham is always on the move. I felt him moving early in the pregnancy- just little bubbles that could easily be mistaken as indigestion. Now he flips and kicks and rolls and punches all the time. I can tell when he's awake because he's moving! I can see him being quite the handful when he becomes a crawler...
I start my third trimester in two weeks. I don't want to be a doom and gloomer, but I think this one will be the toughest. I'm back to school and I'll be the biggest I've even been. The beginning of the year takes the most energy too because beginning string players take a lot of hands-on attention and walking around the room and fixing instruments and fielding stupid questions... eye yai yai, I need a nap just thinking about it. I think it will go by fast though because by the time my first concert is in the bag, I'll only be 4 weeks away from my due date!
During my last few days of freedom I plan on continuing my regimen of sleeping in, napping, and relaxing. I might make a short trip to school to set my room up and gather a few things together before my first official day. I can't complain about my summer though. It has been lovely!
Saturday, April 20, 2013
The Pregnancy Story
March 7th started as a normal Thursday. Woke up, got dressed, drove to school, made some copies, taught homeroom, then headed to the high school to assist with the orchestra there. It was around that time, 9:30 a.m. or so, that I started feeling crampy, like I was going to start my period soon. I'd been feeling like this for a couple days so I was sure I'd start soon. My back was so sore that I had to sit in a chair while teaching. Excuse my specificity, but usually when I'm PMS-ing, I'm not usually this sore, but I'd just gone off The Pill the month prior, so I figured this is just what PMS is like when you're not actively preventing pregnancy. I'd had some other unusual symptoms that, in hindsight, should have clued me in a little sooner to the fact I was pregnant but that I had just chalked up to the assumption that my periods would just be a little worse now that I wasn't on The Pill. So after class, I was groaning a little to Amy, my coworker, about how my back hurt and how much I was cramping. She asked if I was on my period and I said no, but I should soon and then she asked if I had taken a test and I said no, nah, couldn't be, I should start my period soon, and she said "You should really take one, just in case..." and I said, no, nah, it'll be fine, and she said, "Just take one" and I said, well, ok, maybe, it's probably nothing.
So now it's in my head. Could I be pregnant? I guess technically I could, but it's so soon! I'm not pregnant, that would be crazy. Just to calm my mind though, I ran to CVS on my lunch break and bought a test. Did you know pregnancy tests are like twenty bucks? Sheesh! So I went back to my office and grabbed a plastic cup because I wanted to be absolutely sure. I didn't want to pee on the stick then wonder if maybe I didn't do it right, so I decided I'd pee in the cup, hold the stick in for exactly 7 seconds, then wait. I did it in the handicap stall in the girl's bathroom by Door 14, the music department entrance. I had stuck two sticks in my bra and hid the cup up my sleeve just in case I passed a suspicious custodian on my way or something. It was at about 11:10 a.m. when I got the result. I was standing on top of the never-quite-clean yellowish tiles within the brown-grey walls of the handicap stall in the Door 14 girl's bathroom when I saw two pink lines. I read and reread the instructions that I had brought with me in my pocket. One line= not pregnant, two lines=pregnant. I held it upside down just in case I was missing something. I looked a the stick again. There were two pink lines. I held it really close to my eyes to make sure one of the lines wasn't just a product of spontaneous double vision caused by aggressive back cramps of hard core PMS. Yep, definitely two pink lines. And two means... yep, ok, I'm pretty sure now, pregnant.
I'm not sure how long I stood in that disgusting stall, not really sure what to do, but eventually I flushed the cup o' urine, capped the pee stick, put the cup and the test wrapper into the sanitation bin, took the bag out of the sanitation bin, shoved it down real real deep in the bathroom trashcan then crumpled a bunch of paper town on top of it so no one could see it or accidentally suspect some poor 8th grader of taking a pregnancy test, washed my hands and the positive pee stick, and walked back to my office. I hid the pee stick and the spare pee stick deep in my school bag then stood in the middle of my office, not sure what to do yet. I decided I should get on Google, because when in doubt, Google will know what to do, right?
When my shock wore off and I had read a few things online, I called my OB/GYN to schedule a blood test just to make sure. I didn't want to tell my husband until I was really 100% positive. Anyone who has gotten pregnant without really trying knows that you don't really believe it's true for, like, 3 months. Maybe more. I went to the lunch room like usual after that and picked at my food. I must have had a weird look on my face because at least 3 of my friends asked, "What's wrong?" After lunch I served my cafeteria supervision duty. I don't really remember much of the day after that. I sort of felt like I was walking on air and I couldn't focus on anything. Long story short, after school I got my blood test, told my husband, and smiled a lot. His reaction was, "No way! I have super sperm!"
I'm officially at 11 weeks as of yesterday. My due date is November 8th, 2013. I've announced that I'm pregnant to family, friends, and Facebook. I plan on telling the staff next Friday, at our next all-school meeting, although I'm sure most of them know already because of my friends blabbing. I don't really care though. I'll tell my students after that. I'm looking forward to it. They were my first babies and now I'll be giving them a precious baby brother or sister.
One funny thing happened about a day or so after March 7th when I was recording one of my 8th grade class' rehearsal on my phone. I had Jamie, one of my violists, man the phone to push the record button then push the stop button. Apparently she slid the unlock to the left instead of the right, which sends the screen to my most recent phone calls instead of the camera which was cued up on the home screen. I was posed with my baton in the air, ready to start, and Jamie looked confused and said, "Some guy named "Geeno" or "Jyno" just popped up..." and I tried to cover up her words with a loud awkward cough, but as I ran off the podium to grab the phone from her, another girl said, "That's GYNO!" I was randomly yelling syllables trying to drown out the female-anatomy savvy students giggles and gasps of realization. Luckily most of the class totally missed the moment. None of the boys had a clue. "Huh? What? I don't get it..." Before I was able to start the run-through, one of my girls in the front row caught my eye and was smiling knowingly. It made me chuckle and sigh. Ah, the joys of teaching. And now when I tell them that I'm pregnant, I'll be able to refer back to the moment and they'll know they were a part of something special, regardless how awkward.
My blog posts may become more baby-oriented in the future because it's always on my brain. I'm glad that I'll be able to remember this time in the future as it related to my job. Who knows where I'll be when my little one is 3 years ole? Or when he/she is heading off to kindergarten, high school, college or graduate school? Now I can provide my child with this invaluable tale of how Mom peed on a stick in the middle school bathroom.
So now it's in my head. Could I be pregnant? I guess technically I could, but it's so soon! I'm not pregnant, that would be crazy. Just to calm my mind though, I ran to CVS on my lunch break and bought a test. Did you know pregnancy tests are like twenty bucks? Sheesh! So I went back to my office and grabbed a plastic cup because I wanted to be absolutely sure. I didn't want to pee on the stick then wonder if maybe I didn't do it right, so I decided I'd pee in the cup, hold the stick in for exactly 7 seconds, then wait. I did it in the handicap stall in the girl's bathroom by Door 14, the music department entrance. I had stuck two sticks in my bra and hid the cup up my sleeve just in case I passed a suspicious custodian on my way or something. It was at about 11:10 a.m. when I got the result. I was standing on top of the never-quite-clean yellowish tiles within the brown-grey walls of the handicap stall in the Door 14 girl's bathroom when I saw two pink lines. I read and reread the instructions that I had brought with me in my pocket. One line= not pregnant, two lines=pregnant. I held it upside down just in case I was missing something. I looked a the stick again. There were two pink lines. I held it really close to my eyes to make sure one of the lines wasn't just a product of spontaneous double vision caused by aggressive back cramps of hard core PMS. Yep, definitely two pink lines. And two means... yep, ok, I'm pretty sure now, pregnant.
I'm not sure how long I stood in that disgusting stall, not really sure what to do, but eventually I flushed the cup o' urine, capped the pee stick, put the cup and the test wrapper into the sanitation bin, took the bag out of the sanitation bin, shoved it down real real deep in the bathroom trashcan then crumpled a bunch of paper town on top of it so no one could see it or accidentally suspect some poor 8th grader of taking a pregnancy test, washed my hands and the positive pee stick, and walked back to my office. I hid the pee stick and the spare pee stick deep in my school bag then stood in the middle of my office, not sure what to do yet. I decided I should get on Google, because when in doubt, Google will know what to do, right?
When my shock wore off and I had read a few things online, I called my OB/GYN to schedule a blood test just to make sure. I didn't want to tell my husband until I was really 100% positive. Anyone who has gotten pregnant without really trying knows that you don't really believe it's true for, like, 3 months. Maybe more. I went to the lunch room like usual after that and picked at my food. I must have had a weird look on my face because at least 3 of my friends asked, "What's wrong?" After lunch I served my cafeteria supervision duty. I don't really remember much of the day after that. I sort of felt like I was walking on air and I couldn't focus on anything. Long story short, after school I got my blood test, told my husband, and smiled a lot. His reaction was, "No way! I have super sperm!"
I'm officially at 11 weeks as of yesterday. My due date is November 8th, 2013. I've announced that I'm pregnant to family, friends, and Facebook. I plan on telling the staff next Friday, at our next all-school meeting, although I'm sure most of them know already because of my friends blabbing. I don't really care though. I'll tell my students after that. I'm looking forward to it. They were my first babies and now I'll be giving them a precious baby brother or sister.
One funny thing happened about a day or so after March 7th when I was recording one of my 8th grade class' rehearsal on my phone. I had Jamie, one of my violists, man the phone to push the record button then push the stop button. Apparently she slid the unlock to the left instead of the right, which sends the screen to my most recent phone calls instead of the camera which was cued up on the home screen. I was posed with my baton in the air, ready to start, and Jamie looked confused and said, "Some guy named "Geeno" or "Jyno" just popped up..." and I tried to cover up her words with a loud awkward cough, but as I ran off the podium to grab the phone from her, another girl said, "That's GYNO!" I was randomly yelling syllables trying to drown out the female-anatomy savvy students giggles and gasps of realization. Luckily most of the class totally missed the moment. None of the boys had a clue. "Huh? What? I don't get it..." Before I was able to start the run-through, one of my girls in the front row caught my eye and was smiling knowingly. It made me chuckle and sigh. Ah, the joys of teaching. And now when I tell them that I'm pregnant, I'll be able to refer back to the moment and they'll know they were a part of something special, regardless how awkward.
My blog posts may become more baby-oriented in the future because it's always on my brain. I'm glad that I'll be able to remember this time in the future as it related to my job. Who knows where I'll be when my little one is 3 years ole? Or when he/she is heading off to kindergarten, high school, college or graduate school? Now I can provide my child with this invaluable tale of how Mom peed on a stick in the middle school bathroom.
Saturday, March 2, 2013
Calling All Goobers!
It's that time of year again: Recruitment. Every school does it differently, but we all have the same goal: to get kids to join our class. Correction: to get the smart kids to join our class. (And the dumb ones to take general music... ha, just kidding, but really...) We want the nerds, the dweebs, the quiet geniuses the ones that go home and do their homework because they are too smart to relate to their peers so they have no friends. We want the Goobers. We of course always end up with a few knuckleheads (thank you Lord that I don't teach percussion!) and the orchestra always get's the special kids with IEP's who the counselors are just too touched by or for some reason believe violin will heal their bullied soul. But the knuckleheads and IEP's are what give the soup a little flavor as opposed to being too bland.
The first recruitment step for us is to send Larry around. Larry is a retired music teacher who we lovingly refer to as "Papa Smurf." I'm not sure why because he's not blue nor does he wear an abnormal amount of blue clothing at once nor does he wear the color blue abnormally frequently. And he's not bald (I don't think? Was Papa Smurf even bald?) but I guess I don't really know what other qualities Papa Smurf had, so maybe Larry is very much a Papa Smurf. Anyway, Larry travels around to each of the five elementary schools that feed our middle school and administers a basic music test. I'm pretty sure it's the same one I took when I was a ten-year-old. They have to say which pitch is higher/lower, match rhythms by ear, etc... A perfect score is 100, a high score is any wear between 70 and 100, a good score is anything above 60. Larry then collects the scores, collects comments about each student from both their classroom and elementary general music teacher, and gives them to the music department. The Papa Smurf goes home and takes a nap in his blue sheets or something, I don't know, his job is over.
From there, the music department divvies up the data and enters it into a spread sheet. We put the student's name, their grade on each section of the test (pitch, rhythm, and melodic I think), their overall grade out of 100, and then we put an "X" for every negative comment from a teacher. If a teacher says something like "No way, total buffoon!" or "This kid will suck the life right out of you" we put "XXX". (Just kidding, teachers never say anything like that, we think all our students are precious and are "just going through a phase". Or they're autistic. Or need heavy ADHD meds.)
After our data is compiled, we go through the lists and pick out who we want. I just pick kids who got a 60 or higher on their overall music test score. If they have only one "X", I usually still take them, if they have 2 "XX" I drop them unless they have like an 80 or 90, which is just unheard of. When we decide who we want, we get a print-out of their addresses on labels and we send them a post card. My post card was exceptionally awesome and goofy, if I do say so myself. It said something to the effect of "So you're kind of a smarty pants, huh? We're looking for your kind in orchestra! Check us out when you come visit- you will be wowed by the 8th grade orchestra's awesome mad skillz. That could be you!" Then I had some pictures and included what orchestra instruments looked like (no guitars, sorry) and then closed with something about our orchestra family. My honor's orchestra kids helped me create it and they said it wasn't bad, which is high praise from them, so I feel good about it. The band had something lame with Uncle Sam "We Want YOU" pointing and yelling at them in postcard form. I told them it was lame. They will still get twice the number of kids to sign up for band than I do though, so I need all the trash-talking help I can get. The choir does things a little differently in that they look at the pitch score only. Sometimes they're post card is the only one that gets sent to a kid. But choir usually gets the lowest kids in general. I know, I taught choir. It's a different world: a lot more drama, a lot more flair, but potentially a lot more fun. So we stuff the envelopes with our post cards, slap an address label on them, and mail them away.
Throughout February we put on five different performances for each elementary school 6th grade class that comes to visit and tour the building. They arrive in the morning, about 15-20 minutes after the bell rings. The band is playing when they enter. Then the band directors say something about their program, then they play a song while they're sitting and listening- it's usually something flashy with lots of drums and loud noises. The entrance music is often something recognizable from a movie or T.V. or a pop song from the radio. (We teachers have a good chuckle about the fact that the only time they will ever play such horrid music is for this very concert.) Then the curtain closes and the band leaves the stage while the orchestra enters from the other side. We have to be completely silent because while we are entering, the choir is singing in front of the curtain. They usually have the show choir do something recognizable This year is was Adele's Rolling in the Deep. The orchestra kids mouthed the words and danced in their seats to that stupid song all the way down to the fifth concert. Then the choir exits and we open the curtains the orchestra plays.
The first thing that everyone noticed about the orchestra is that I made them wear their uniforms. All the other groups just wore their school clothes. The orchestra looked a lot more clean and put together, which will appeal to some and not to others. I don't care, I liked it and that's how it's going to be. We're the orchestra and we're classy, got it? We opened with The Lion Sleeps Tonight which, I realize, is not exactly an up-and-coming tune. However, we incorporated some shtick and it ended up being pretty fun in the end. We bobbed back and forth in the "A weem a wup, A weem a wup" part, which is all pizzicato, and I would turn around and try to get the 6th graders to sway, and none of them would sway, and so I'd say, "Come on now, stop acting like you're too cool to sway!" then they would smile and reluctantly sway, then I'd turn back around and all the orchestra kids would be grinning because they feel like dorks swaying back and forth but they actually love it. The shtick got old by the fifth concert, let me tell ya. After that song I'd introduce the next song and make a joke about it being on Sponge Bob (it's actually "What Do You Do With A Drunken Sailor" but the title on our music is "Variations on a Well-Known Sea Chanty") and we played a couple flashy parts of that which involve a bunch of different bow and plucking techniques so the kids can see how string instruments can sound.
After the Sea Chanty we play our finale, Fiddles on Fire, which is fast and loud. We broke out the electric instruments for this one and my 8th graders who wanted to play on the electrics had to memorize the whole song and audition. While the electric solo players are walking over to the amp, I introduce the different instruments (violins, hold them up, ooooo, violas, hold them up, they're like fat violins haha, cellos-lift them up as a joke- they ate like 2 violins, haha, basses, ya, rock on cool yadda yadda yadda) then I have any 8th grader who went to this particular elementary school stand up and we applaud them, then I quickly explain that string instruments go out of tune rather easily because they're made of wood and wood expands and contracts with the weather, so please be patient and give me a minute to tune the electric instruments. This tuning wasn't originally planned because I have to keep my portion to about 7 minutes, but at the first concert I had to cut the song off after about 5 bars because the electrics had gone so badly out of tune between when I'd tuned them at 8:15 and when we performed an hour later. They're not of the greatest quality, but they're flashy so we like them. Other than the tuning glitch, the only other problem was my "tech crew", consisting of a bass player and a cellist who I could afford not to play part of the first song while they plugged everything in, plugged both ends of one cord into the amp leaving one electric violin unplugged. Luckily I realized what happened pretty quickly and we recovered, but I made sure they didn't do that again.
So after all the groups perform, the counselors give them little slips of paper with "Band" "Orchestra" "Choir" "None" written on them and the 6th graders have to list their first and second choices. Then the counselors give us a list of the students who chose our group. Then after that they come to instrument tryout night and get fitted for an instrument and we give them information about the summer program, and we hope they remember to show up and rent an instrument! And that's recruitment. We get that list of our 6th graders very soon. My excitement is mounting...I hope I get some dorky goobers!
February's Noteworthy's
In my February post, I
began by saying how January was blah blah blah busy yet I was still unable to
motivate myself to write something up and post it. Now that February has
come and gone, I have failed again to write about my teaching life. I'm
the worst. I am going to try to sum up the whole of February in this
sitting because once I stop, who knows when I’ll write again? I must try not to
become too long-winded yet still recall the important events that happened. I’m referring to these as the Noteworthy’s.
- A teary ISSMA Solo and
Ensemble
- Famous Americans Day
- Angry Parent Conference, an annoyed outline
- A Reflection on Valentine's Days past
- A Reflection on Valentine's Days past
- Snow Day woot!
- The Cancer Graduation
ISSMA Solo and Ensemble
was held at our very own Ninth Grade Center building. The facilities were
great for it and everything went smoothly minus one saxophone judge who ran
over an hour and a half behind, holding up every teacher who had a saxophone
student playing a Group I solo. Oh and also ISSMA shorted us about 200
Gold solo medals, so our poor parent volunteer had to tell students that they
didn't get their medal today, they had to wait until next week when ISSMA would
ship it to their school. I can't imagine there were many happy parents at
her table. My kiddos all got gold’s, yay! I cried during my honor's
orchestra performance. I just couldn't hold it in; they did exactly what
I taught them to do and without me up there yelling directions at them!
It made me very proud. Of course they all reacted appropriately
awkward and cute toward my crying: kind of nudging each other and pointing and
grinning sheepishly. All the girls gave me hugs. The boys lingered,
shuffling their over-large feet, not knowing what to do. A few made dumb
jokes. Their reactions just made me cry more! I love those goobers!
And that is why I don't let myself cry in front of people: I can't make
it stop. I had to sit in the library and soak up several Panera napkins
while I composed myself and soggy-ed my sandwich bread. "You got me
on the crescendo! " I said to them later. Consequently
their dynamics have rocked lately. I think they are all secretly hoping
they'll make me cry again. I said not to count on it.
"Famous American's
Day" = the new name for President's Day. What the what? I
decided on my day off I would boycott that decision and only reflect upon our
Presidents, no other famous Americans. Actually I read an US Weekly and
got a pedicure, soooooo...
Angry Parent Conference
was fine. My general take-away: annoyance. Here's the summary, as
it is with most angry parents who request a conference: Student gets F.
Parent contacts Teacher with a condescending e-mail. Teacher calmly
explains why Student is getting F and explains what Student can do to raise
grade. Parent is not satisfied because Heaven forbid their baby is
earning that F, and requests meeting with Teacher, Student, both Parents, and
Counselor. Meeting date gets pushed back further and further because of
schedules of all 5 parties. 3 weeks later, Parent is 7 minutes late to
meeting, Sudent has a C at this point, but every finally sits down at a
conference table. Angry Parent talks for 20 minutes. Teacher
listens and nods understandingly. Student sulks in corner. Teacher
calmly explains again why Student has the grade she has and explains what she can
do to bring it up. Parent skeptically nods and "mm-hmm"'s while
writing down information Teacher is giving (which is, coincidentally, the exact
same information Teacher e-mailed Parent 3 weeks ago.) Parent requests
all sort of extra information via e-mail. Parent requests daily updates
on her daughter's progress. Parent drops one last condescending comment
about how teacher's class, "Is not like English or science or Calculus or
anything..." Teacher smiles and nods understandingly, comments on
the potential of Student, shakes Parents' hands. Counselor does nothing.
Everyone leaves. Teacher rolls eyes.
Valentine's Day is way
bigger in middle school than I remembered. I had two different girls
carry into AIM over sized stuffed animals. There were a variety
of roses and gift bags exchanged as well. Everyone was giddy and giggly
and annoying and just a little bit cute. It made me remember my first
Valentine's Day with my current husband. We were in 7th grade and went to
the dance together. I wore a navy blue dress. He bought me a
generic wrist corsage from the drug store. He brought his twin brother I
brought my best friend, who his brother had a crush on but who decidedly did
NOT have a reciprocating crush and in fact I think gave him a polite yet quick
handshake at the end of the night. She may or may not have also patted
him on the head at some point during the dance- she was like 6 inches taller
than him. Poor guy... My husband and I's second Valentine's Day was when
we were in 8th grade. I don't know if there was a dance that year or not.
I bought him these awful black silk boxers with lips and hearts all over
them and also a rotating light-up disco ball on a stand. Don't ask me
why. Probably so we could make out with the lights off but still be able
to have a seizure, I don't know. He wrote me the most beautiful
love notes and poems. I couldn't even read through them all the way
without taking a break to giggle or blush. I still have them in a shoe
box somewhere. I wonder if I could get
through them even now... Anyway, thinking back at my own middle school
Valentine's Days made me a little more empathetic toward my little goobers'
over-the-top reactions and emotions. I roll my eyes and I want to just
tell them to wait until their older, but then again, I didn't.
We finally got a snow
day, woo-hoo! It was the most
unnecessary snow day I’ve ever experienced, but I’ll take it. And we have two days built into our year
already, so we don’t have to make the day up!
Unfortunately I had already woken up, done my Bible study, taken the dog
out, dressed, and done my hair and make-up before I realized I didn’t have
school. My husband actually caught it
for me on the news, or else I would have hopped in the car and gone to
school! He took the morning off and we
got pancakes. It was fun.
Today reinforced my
certainty that God guided me to the right place to teach. (To be honest, today is technically the first
weekend in March, but I’m logging it as a February memory for convenience.) Abby,
a senior violinist in our high school orchestra, had her very own formal
graduation today. Me and the other
orchestra ladies and three high school students played as a small ensemble for
her prelude, postlude, processional, and recessional music. I have to admit, I was a little more than begrudging
to be there on a Saturday morning, but I’m glad I was able to appreciate firsthand
just how special our community it. Abby’s
mom had been diagnosed with terminal cancer over a couple years ago. I don’t know Abby very well and I don’t know
her mom at all. What I have heard is
that Abby’s mom was one of the most involved orchestra moms we’ve ever had,
even as she was fighting cancer. Last
week the doctors gave her a week, at the most, to live. So the district pulled together to throw Abby
a formal graduation so her mom could watch her turn her tassel. The superintendent spoke, members of the
school board were there to award her her diploma, her high school principal
spoke, her middle school and elementary principals were there clicking pictures
right and left, the counselors printed formal programs, several orchestra
students showed up to watch and take pictures with her (I think more came to
her reception later in the afternoon, but I wasn’t there so I don’t know) and
there I sat in the back of the auditorium, just amazed at the generosity and
sacrifices everyone made for one student.
Despite the depressing
gray weather outside, February has been a month full of growth. I’m growing as a teacher, my students are all
growing as mini musicians, and we’re all growing closer together as a happy
orchestra family. Imagine what spring
will bring…!
The Driver, The Scrotum, and The Fight
The following are three stories of varying length and hilarity that all occurred just this past Friday. Enjoy.
The Driver
As one of my 8th grade orchestra classes was unpacking and getting tuned, one of my violinists, Susan, popped up, and said, "Oh! Mrs. Martin! I'm writing a story for English and you're in it!" Naturally I asked, "Am I the good guy or the bad guy?" Susan joyfully exclaimed, "You're the driver!" I'm not sure how to take that one... I just laughed and told her I wanted to read it when she was finished. I am embarrassingly curious about my role. What kind of vehicle do I drive? Is it a limo? A cab? A bus? Is there a heist? Am I assisting in a robbery? And if so, am I being tricked into it or something like that one Jesse Eisenberg movie, or am I more criminal like in The Dark Knight? Who am I driving around? Could it be the modern leader of the Aryan race who recently wrote an alarmingly hateful book against the Jews like that one Seinfeld episode? Or is it a bus load of people I have to keep alive by driving a bus above 60 mph and I'm a beautiful brunette? Am I like Ranjit from How I Met Your Mother where I know everything about everyone's lives and am a lovable Pakistani/Indian/(Iranian?) jokester? Or am I more like Mr. Big's driver from Sex in the City who you never see but who is always there when you need him? I am truly curious as to why Susan cast me as the driver and I want to know what that means she thinks of me... Also I watch too much T.V.
The Scrotum: (This wonderful story come secondhand, courtesy of one of my colleagues. I just had to share it because who doesn't love a good scrotum story?)
So one of my colleagues, Debbie, and I are sitting by each other at our monthly all-staff breakfast meeting and one of the Jaguar teachers approaches us and says to Debbie, "Can you come to our table and tell the scrotum story? No one can tell it like you!" Debbie laughs and says she'll be over in a sec. I of course turn immediately to her and demand to hear the scrotum story. Here is what she said:
Debbie teaches HOST, which stands for "Helping One Student at a Time", which is basically a mandatory elective for students who are behind in reading. She gets a wide variety of personalities in her class. The other day, two of her Jaguar students, Dontell and Javon, were horsing around, kind of wrestling with each other, before class. Debbie was helping a student at her desk and her back was to the boys. At some point, Dontell shoved Javon playfully in the back and Javon howled dramatically, "Ow! My scrotum!" and clutched his back. Debbie whipped around and said sharply, "Javon! That is not an appropriate thing to say!"
"But my back really hurts!" responded Javon. Debbie took a pause.
"Do you mean your spine?" she asked.
"Oh, yeah, I guess. Then what's a scrotum?" Debbie could guess where this was going.
"It's a body part," she answered. Now Dontell was now intrigued.
"Is it a bad body part?" Dontell asked seriously.
Debbie answered back seriously, "Yes."
"Does everyone have it?" said an impish yet obviously genuinely curious Javon.
Debbie had resigned at this point. "No."
Dontell could tell they were getting closer. "Do girls have it?"
Debbie sighed. "No."
Javon and Dontell, who had finally figured it out, both breathed, "Ohhhh..."
Debbie, her human anatomy work done for the day, turned away and gathered herself before she had to begin class, thinking this gem of a story could not get any better when she heard one of the boys say,
"Huh. I guess that's why in that one song he goes "I gotta scrotum like a saggy bag of skin"
I want to know what kind of music that kid is listening to...
The Fight:
As I've lamented before, I have the misfortune of serving lunch supervision duty. Yesterday I had the privilege of witnessing a fight up close. There were many slow motion moments that I've reflected on and have come up with a million things I should have done. It was all over in about 20 seconds though, so maybe next time...
So I'm making my rounds up and down the rows of lunch tables on the Panther side of the lunch room (they have blue lanyards, by the way) and from across the cafeteria I see a kid in a blue sweatshirt standing up. I wait for a few seconds for him to sit back down, and he doesn't. So I sigh and start making my way over to him to remind him to "stay in your seat..." when I see another boy in a grey sweatshirt actually get up from his table and start walking over to the blue sweatshirt. I still didn't know exactly what was about to go down though because the demeanor of each boy was not angry or aggressive. I figured I'd have to make them go sit on the wall and eat their lunch or something, a common punishment for getting up out of your seat and visiting other tables.
I say neither boy looked angry or aggressive, which is true. In retrospect, knowing what was about to happen in about 3 seconds time, I can say exactly what they looked like. Blue sweatshirt had a glint of excitement in his eyes; they were smiling but not in a friendly way. His whole body seemed to be asking, "Is this going to happen? Am I going to get in my first fight?" Grey sweatshirt had this slow plod of a walk, which spoke, "I really don't want to put this much effort into anything, but I know this is what I'm supposed to do when someone says something like that to me..."
So I'm still about 3 tables away when I start to sense that they're not just going to illegally share some hot cheetos and rag on each other's girls. Grey sweatshirt had stopped just a little too close to blue sweatshirt and blue sweatshirt, with that excited glint in his eye, had just said something to him. I was 2 tables away. This is when I shouted out, "Hey!"
Grey sweatshirt threw the first punch. It was the lamest punch I've ever seen in my life. The rest of his body was still stooped in his "Well, I wish I could just finish my lunch but I guess I'm gonna fight now..." posture, and only his sad little right arm came up to tap Blue Sweatshirt on the jaw. And it was so slow! That's why I know Blue Sweatshirt wanted to tango because anyone under the age of 90 and below the blood alcohol level of .05 could have dodged that wimpy punch.
The reaction was instantaneous. By this time, I had bounded the three-stride-lengths to the table at which they had been standing. None of the other kids were really into the build-up, because, like I said, it was pretty lame. But as soon as Grey Sweatshirt tapped Blue Sweatshirt on the chin and the two boys had kicked into turbo gear every kid in the joint was on their feet either sliding out of the way or pushing closer to see. Blue Sweatshirt launched himself at Grey Sweatshirt, punching him as hard as he could with both fists. Grey sweatshirt, who was bigger but slower, eventually got himself positioned above him and they danced their way to the ground, punching and punching as they circled. The kids had formed a sort of chair barricade, a chairicade if you will, in front of me as I screamed, "Stop! Stop it! Get off! Stop right now!" My training told me not to step in between them or try to pull one off the other. My common sense also told me not to step in between them or try to pull one off the other, because even though both 7th grade Panther boys still had that baby-boy-round-face look and their voices hadn't yet changed all the way, they both still probably had at least 5-7 inches and 20 pounds on me. And they were pounding away as fast as they could at whatever their fists would hit. What I did was drag the students sitting in the chairs directly next to the brawl back (so I guess I reinforced their chaircade in the end...) and screamed for Ooley, the 6'5" 250 lb music teacher who served lunch duty with me. Unfortunately I don't think Ooley could initially see what was happening nor would he guess because it escalated so quickly and the surrounding kids didn't start yelling until the Sweatshirts had been beating on each other for at least 5 seconds. But what he could see was a bunch of kids on their feet, which usually means someone spilled/threw chocolate milk or red fruit punch all over the floor, but could also sometimes mean someone is hurt, or, the worst option, that someone is fighting. So his first few steps were a little slow and questioning, then when he saw what was happening he ran up to the boys and shouted, "Get of of each other!" and gruffly grabbed Blue Sweatshirt around the torso, pulling him back. Duana, the other music teacher on duty, had made it to the scene by then, approaching from the non-chairicade side of the fight, and pulled the hood of Grey Sweatshirt backwards. The boys immediately let go of each other: not a tug or a lunge back at the other, which was another sign to me that they were both nubes and didn't really have any issues with each other but just had to initiate themselves into the world of man by banging their baby fists into each others baby flesh. There was also this air of pride in themselves and each other when the teachers pulled them apart; it was as if they were two stunt doubles in a T.V. show who had just finished a scene. I was half expecting them to shake hands and say, "Well done, bro."
I have a twinge of regret after witnessing my first fight as a teacher, as someone who has the authority to make them stop. I wish I would have stepped between them and tried to pull one off the other. They are my kids and they were hurting each other. (I think Blue Sweatshirt ended up with a minor split lip- I've had worse when mine are chapped- and Grey Sweatshirt had the makings of a pretty sweet black eye- I am slightly jealous, I've always wanted a good shiner.) It is my responsibility to take care of them and make sure they leave school in the same condition, hopefully better, than they entered. So by putting my own safety first, I feel like I showed my true "fight-or-flight" (or in my case, "fight-or-stand-and-scream") colors. Wasn't it selfish of me, or lazy of me, or something of me not to have stepped in? I can think of at least a dozen different things I could have done, what I should have done, what I would have said I would have done to anyone else with a similar story: "Well, I would have..." The chairicade was only one or two students deep in the beginning, I could have easily shoved my way through, Les Mis style. (Every song from that musical has been belting through my head since I came up with "chairicade".) And what was the worst that could have happened? I could have gotten punched? And shouldn't I have risked that for my students? So what does that say about my personality? What does that say about me as a teacher? What does that say about me as a future parent? Yeah, yeah, they weren't my real kids. They weren't even my orchestra students. I don't even know their names. Which is why I said I have a twinge of guilt. I'm not beating myself up over it. And hey, who knows? Maybe at the next fight I'll get to try out one of my other ideas from the dozen I came up with after this one. Or maybe I'll just stand and scream again while I wait for the big strong man to step in.
Ah, the life of a middle school teacher is never a dull one. I am so happy I have these stories to ponder, laugh about, and retell at parties. Seriously, how are teachers not the hit of every party with all this raw material?
The Driver
As one of my 8th grade orchestra classes was unpacking and getting tuned, one of my violinists, Susan, popped up, and said, "Oh! Mrs. Martin! I'm writing a story for English and you're in it!" Naturally I asked, "Am I the good guy or the bad guy?" Susan joyfully exclaimed, "You're the driver!" I'm not sure how to take that one... I just laughed and told her I wanted to read it when she was finished. I am embarrassingly curious about my role. What kind of vehicle do I drive? Is it a limo? A cab? A bus? Is there a heist? Am I assisting in a robbery? And if so, am I being tricked into it or something like that one Jesse Eisenberg movie, or am I more criminal like in The Dark Knight? Who am I driving around? Could it be the modern leader of the Aryan race who recently wrote an alarmingly hateful book against the Jews like that one Seinfeld episode? Or is it a bus load of people I have to keep alive by driving a bus above 60 mph and I'm a beautiful brunette? Am I like Ranjit from How I Met Your Mother where I know everything about everyone's lives and am a lovable Pakistani/Indian/(Iranian?) jokester? Or am I more like Mr. Big's driver from Sex in the City who you never see but who is always there when you need him? I am truly curious as to why Susan cast me as the driver and I want to know what that means she thinks of me... Also I watch too much T.V.
The Scrotum: (This wonderful story come secondhand, courtesy of one of my colleagues. I just had to share it because who doesn't love a good scrotum story?)
So one of my colleagues, Debbie, and I are sitting by each other at our monthly all-staff breakfast meeting and one of the Jaguar teachers approaches us and says to Debbie, "Can you come to our table and tell the scrotum story? No one can tell it like you!" Debbie laughs and says she'll be over in a sec. I of course turn immediately to her and demand to hear the scrotum story. Here is what she said:
Debbie teaches HOST, which stands for "Helping One Student at a Time", which is basically a mandatory elective for students who are behind in reading. She gets a wide variety of personalities in her class. The other day, two of her Jaguar students, Dontell and Javon, were horsing around, kind of wrestling with each other, before class. Debbie was helping a student at her desk and her back was to the boys. At some point, Dontell shoved Javon playfully in the back and Javon howled dramatically, "Ow! My scrotum!" and clutched his back. Debbie whipped around and said sharply, "Javon! That is not an appropriate thing to say!"
"But my back really hurts!" responded Javon. Debbie took a pause.
"Do you mean your spine?" she asked.
"Oh, yeah, I guess. Then what's a scrotum?" Debbie could guess where this was going.
"It's a body part," she answered. Now Dontell was now intrigued.
"Is it a bad body part?" Dontell asked seriously.
Debbie answered back seriously, "Yes."
"Does everyone have it?" said an impish yet obviously genuinely curious Javon.
Debbie had resigned at this point. "No."
Dontell could tell they were getting closer. "Do girls have it?"
Debbie sighed. "No."
Javon and Dontell, who had finally figured it out, both breathed, "Ohhhh..."
Debbie, her human anatomy work done for the day, turned away and gathered herself before she had to begin class, thinking this gem of a story could not get any better when she heard one of the boys say,
"Huh. I guess that's why in that one song he goes "I gotta scrotum like a saggy bag of skin"
I want to know what kind of music that kid is listening to...
The Fight:
As I've lamented before, I have the misfortune of serving lunch supervision duty. Yesterday I had the privilege of witnessing a fight up close. There were many slow motion moments that I've reflected on and have come up with a million things I should have done. It was all over in about 20 seconds though, so maybe next time...
So I'm making my rounds up and down the rows of lunch tables on the Panther side of the lunch room (they have blue lanyards, by the way) and from across the cafeteria I see a kid in a blue sweatshirt standing up. I wait for a few seconds for him to sit back down, and he doesn't. So I sigh and start making my way over to him to remind him to "stay in your seat..." when I see another boy in a grey sweatshirt actually get up from his table and start walking over to the blue sweatshirt. I still didn't know exactly what was about to go down though because the demeanor of each boy was not angry or aggressive. I figured I'd have to make them go sit on the wall and eat their lunch or something, a common punishment for getting up out of your seat and visiting other tables.
I say neither boy looked angry or aggressive, which is true. In retrospect, knowing what was about to happen in about 3 seconds time, I can say exactly what they looked like. Blue sweatshirt had a glint of excitement in his eyes; they were smiling but not in a friendly way. His whole body seemed to be asking, "Is this going to happen? Am I going to get in my first fight?" Grey sweatshirt had this slow plod of a walk, which spoke, "I really don't want to put this much effort into anything, but I know this is what I'm supposed to do when someone says something like that to me..."
So I'm still about 3 tables away when I start to sense that they're not just going to illegally share some hot cheetos and rag on each other's girls. Grey sweatshirt had stopped just a little too close to blue sweatshirt and blue sweatshirt, with that excited glint in his eye, had just said something to him. I was 2 tables away. This is when I shouted out, "Hey!"
Grey sweatshirt threw the first punch. It was the lamest punch I've ever seen in my life. The rest of his body was still stooped in his "Well, I wish I could just finish my lunch but I guess I'm gonna fight now..." posture, and only his sad little right arm came up to tap Blue Sweatshirt on the jaw. And it was so slow! That's why I know Blue Sweatshirt wanted to tango because anyone under the age of 90 and below the blood alcohol level of .05 could have dodged that wimpy punch.
The reaction was instantaneous. By this time, I had bounded the three-stride-lengths to the table at which they had been standing. None of the other kids were really into the build-up, because, like I said, it was pretty lame. But as soon as Grey Sweatshirt tapped Blue Sweatshirt on the chin and the two boys had kicked into turbo gear every kid in the joint was on their feet either sliding out of the way or pushing closer to see. Blue Sweatshirt launched himself at Grey Sweatshirt, punching him as hard as he could with both fists. Grey sweatshirt, who was bigger but slower, eventually got himself positioned above him and they danced their way to the ground, punching and punching as they circled. The kids had formed a sort of chair barricade, a chairicade if you will, in front of me as I screamed, "Stop! Stop it! Get off! Stop right now!" My training told me not to step in between them or try to pull one off the other. My common sense also told me not to step in between them or try to pull one off the other, because even though both 7th grade Panther boys still had that baby-boy-round-face look and their voices hadn't yet changed all the way, they both still probably had at least 5-7 inches and 20 pounds on me. And they were pounding away as fast as they could at whatever their fists would hit. What I did was drag the students sitting in the chairs directly next to the brawl back (so I guess I reinforced their chaircade in the end...) and screamed for Ooley, the 6'5" 250 lb music teacher who served lunch duty with me. Unfortunately I don't think Ooley could initially see what was happening nor would he guess because it escalated so quickly and the surrounding kids didn't start yelling until the Sweatshirts had been beating on each other for at least 5 seconds. But what he could see was a bunch of kids on their feet, which usually means someone spilled/threw chocolate milk or red fruit punch all over the floor, but could also sometimes mean someone is hurt, or, the worst option, that someone is fighting. So his first few steps were a little slow and questioning, then when he saw what was happening he ran up to the boys and shouted, "Get of of each other!" and gruffly grabbed Blue Sweatshirt around the torso, pulling him back. Duana, the other music teacher on duty, had made it to the scene by then, approaching from the non-chairicade side of the fight, and pulled the hood of Grey Sweatshirt backwards. The boys immediately let go of each other: not a tug or a lunge back at the other, which was another sign to me that they were both nubes and didn't really have any issues with each other but just had to initiate themselves into the world of man by banging their baby fists into each others baby flesh. There was also this air of pride in themselves and each other when the teachers pulled them apart; it was as if they were two stunt doubles in a T.V. show who had just finished a scene. I was half expecting them to shake hands and say, "Well done, bro."
I have a twinge of regret after witnessing my first fight as a teacher, as someone who has the authority to make them stop. I wish I would have stepped between them and tried to pull one off the other. They are my kids and they were hurting each other. (I think Blue Sweatshirt ended up with a minor split lip- I've had worse when mine are chapped- and Grey Sweatshirt had the makings of a pretty sweet black eye- I am slightly jealous, I've always wanted a good shiner.) It is my responsibility to take care of them and make sure they leave school in the same condition, hopefully better, than they entered. So by putting my own safety first, I feel like I showed my true "fight-or-flight" (or in my case, "fight-or-stand-and-scream") colors. Wasn't it selfish of me, or lazy of me, or something of me not to have stepped in? I can think of at least a dozen different things I could have done, what I should have done, what I would have said I would have done to anyone else with a similar story: "Well, I would have..." The chairicade was only one or two students deep in the beginning, I could have easily shoved my way through, Les Mis style. (Every song from that musical has been belting through my head since I came up with "chairicade".) And what was the worst that could have happened? I could have gotten punched? And shouldn't I have risked that for my students? So what does that say about my personality? What does that say about me as a teacher? What does that say about me as a future parent? Yeah, yeah, they weren't my real kids. They weren't even my orchestra students. I don't even know their names. Which is why I said I have a twinge of guilt. I'm not beating myself up over it. And hey, who knows? Maybe at the next fight I'll get to try out one of my other ideas from the dozen I came up with after this one. Or maybe I'll just stand and scream again while I wait for the big strong man to step in.
Ah, the life of a middle school teacher is never a dull one. I am so happy I have these stories to ponder, laugh about, and retell at parties. Seriously, how are teachers not the hit of every party with all this raw material?
Sunday, February 10, 2013
January
Wow, for being one of the most blah months I've ever experienced, I apparently did not have any time to write a post. Seriously though, January is the Eeyore of all the months. It just kind of blobbed it's way through it's allotted thirty-one days and now it's February, which, if I'm sticking with my Winnie the Pooh analogy, would be the Piglet of all months I think: short and cute and pink. Awwww... Piglet. Not a lot happened at school during January. Anything that is worth noting in the world of music education has happened during the first couple weeks of February. I do have a couple stories from January though:
At my school, the teachers have to walk their last period class out to the bus. The students are supposed to be completely silent until they breathe in outdoor air. This of course never actually happens, but I feel obligated to at least attempt to keep my squirmy little 7th graders quiet as they leave my classroom. I've tried everything short of duct-taping all their mouths shut but even if they're already lined up and I'm standing in front of them flickering the lights, it still usually takes a good minute or more to get every single one of them silent. I'm just too darned lazy to come up with consequences and/or rewards for talkers/non-talkers/good days/bad days. Frankly I don't really care about them being quiet as they leave for the bus; I have more important things to worry about. It's a school-wide procedure though, so I pulled out this golden nugget one day in January:
Tristan: (wiggling around and talking)
Me (flicker lights)
Several students: "Shhhhh! I want to go!" "Quiet." "Are you going to Kat's party?" "Did you ever find your music?" (other various unimportant ramblings)
Me (standing, tired and exasperated, with my hand still on the light switch, starting to sweat from being bundled up in my winter coat and scarf and hat, staring at the poorly-formed line)
Tristan: (puts Bacon in a head lock)
Bacon: (knocks over a basket of tuners as he tries to get out of the headlock)
Gustavo: (still slowly packing up his viola because when it was actually time to pack up, he was locking up his empty case while his viola sat in his chair. then it took him 5 minutes to unlock his locker because he kept messing up his combo)
Me (in a medium loud voice) "Tristan and Bacon knock it off. I want to leave. Do you need to come up here with me?"
Tristan and Bacon: "No!"
Gustavo: (eventually joins the side of the line, but has to leave again because he left his bow on his stand)
Tristan and Bacon (begin wrestling again)
Me: "If you can't keep your hands off of each other and your mouths shut you're going to come up here and hold my hand all the way to your bus."
Tristan and Bacon (freeze midway through a wrestling move)
Gustavo (lumbers to the line)
Rest of class (eventually stop wiggling and talking one by one)
Me (stand and wait for silence- finally gets quiet after about 10 more seconds)
Tristan (whispers something incoherent and bumps Bacon's backpack from behind then laughs)
Me "Ok, Tristan, get up here."
Rest of the class (laughs)
Tristan "Aw, man!" (clomps up to the front of the line)
Me: "Oh goodie, I forgot my gloves today. You can keep one of my hands warm"
Tristan "Awww, maaaan!" (begrudgingly takes my hand and bows his head in shame)
Rest of class (mocks and laughs and titters)
Me "I have another hand...!"
Rest of class (silent)
I marched that kid all the way down the row of buses which contained all of his friends and wouldn't you know it, his bus was the second to last one! The kids are still and wiggly noisy bunch, but now that they know I'm not fooling and that I will indeed hold their hand all the way to their bus, they get quiet a lot faster.
Most of January has been spent preparing for ISSMA solo and ensemble and recruitment concerts (post about this to come). My 7th grade doesn't perform again until May so it's been pretty laid back. I've found I really enjoy teaching when there isn't a bunch of pressure to prepare for a concert that is always one week too soon. The 8th grade has been a lot more frantic, but more on that later.
Monday night full orchestra rehearsals have started at the high school. So far I've only worked with the strings because the winds are working on their own. I had a really fun time last week when no other teachers showed up at rehearsal except me and the high school director and so she took the winds and I rehearsed the strings myself. It was refreshing to work on music as opposed to just rehearsing notes and rhythms. The high school kids were really awesome- they were all respectful and responsive and really wanted to do everything I suggested. I still don't wish I were the high school teacher though. I get just enough of a taste of the upper level kids, then I get to go back to my little goobers. I'm a middle school teacher at heart and I would get burnt out in a month if I taught high school. It has been nice working with the full symphony though.
I've played two Carmel Symphony concerts in the past couple weeks. My arms are sore and I'm lacking a few hours of sleep, but my brain and my heart are full of cello! I actually practiced more than I usually do for this last concert (Shostakovitch 5) and it was truly a revitalizing experience. I feel so honored and blessed to be a part of something so big. It made me a little sad that so many people will never get to experience the unique joy that I do when playing such a magical and romantic work as a member of a symphony orchestra. I don't always feel this way after a concert, most of the time I'm just tired and want to go to bed, but this one got to me. I'm so grateful to be given the ability to play music. And I'm even more grateful to be given the opportunity to introduce and teach music to the next generation.
Next post I'll recap ISSMA solo and ensemble (we hosted...!) and talk about how we do recruitment. But it's Sunday night and as you may or may not know, teachers don't sleep well on Sunday nights, and I should give myself plenty of time to roll around restlessly.
At my school, the teachers have to walk their last period class out to the bus. The students are supposed to be completely silent until they breathe in outdoor air. This of course never actually happens, but I feel obligated to at least attempt to keep my squirmy little 7th graders quiet as they leave my classroom. I've tried everything short of duct-taping all their mouths shut but even if they're already lined up and I'm standing in front of them flickering the lights, it still usually takes a good minute or more to get every single one of them silent. I'm just too darned lazy to come up with consequences and/or rewards for talkers/non-talkers/good days/bad days. Frankly I don't really care about them being quiet as they leave for the bus; I have more important things to worry about. It's a school-wide procedure though, so I pulled out this golden nugget one day in January:
Tristan: (wiggling around and talking)
Me (flicker lights)
Several students: "Shhhhh! I want to go!" "Quiet." "Are you going to Kat's party?" "Did you ever find your music?" (other various unimportant ramblings)
Me (standing, tired and exasperated, with my hand still on the light switch, starting to sweat from being bundled up in my winter coat and scarf and hat, staring at the poorly-formed line)
Tristan: (puts Bacon in a head lock)
Bacon: (knocks over a basket of tuners as he tries to get out of the headlock)
Gustavo: (still slowly packing up his viola because when it was actually time to pack up, he was locking up his empty case while his viola sat in his chair. then it took him 5 minutes to unlock his locker because he kept messing up his combo)
Me (in a medium loud voice) "Tristan and Bacon knock it off. I want to leave. Do you need to come up here with me?"
Tristan and Bacon: "No!"
Gustavo: (eventually joins the side of the line, but has to leave again because he left his bow on his stand)
Tristan and Bacon (begin wrestling again)
Me: "If you can't keep your hands off of each other and your mouths shut you're going to come up here and hold my hand all the way to your bus."
Tristan and Bacon (freeze midway through a wrestling move)
Gustavo (lumbers to the line)
Rest of class (eventually stop wiggling and talking one by one)
Me (stand and wait for silence- finally gets quiet after about 10 more seconds)
Tristan (whispers something incoherent and bumps Bacon's backpack from behind then laughs)
Me "Ok, Tristan, get up here."
Rest of the class (laughs)
Tristan "Aw, man!" (clomps up to the front of the line)
Me: "Oh goodie, I forgot my gloves today. You can keep one of my hands warm"
Tristan "Awww, maaaan!" (begrudgingly takes my hand and bows his head in shame)
Rest of class (mocks and laughs and titters)
Me "I have another hand...!"
Rest of class (silent)
I marched that kid all the way down the row of buses which contained all of his friends and wouldn't you know it, his bus was the second to last one! The kids are still and wiggly noisy bunch, but now that they know I'm not fooling and that I will indeed hold their hand all the way to their bus, they get quiet a lot faster.
Most of January has been spent preparing for ISSMA solo and ensemble and recruitment concerts (post about this to come). My 7th grade doesn't perform again until May so it's been pretty laid back. I've found I really enjoy teaching when there isn't a bunch of pressure to prepare for a concert that is always one week too soon. The 8th grade has been a lot more frantic, but more on that later.
Monday night full orchestra rehearsals have started at the high school. So far I've only worked with the strings because the winds are working on their own. I had a really fun time last week when no other teachers showed up at rehearsal except me and the high school director and so she took the winds and I rehearsed the strings myself. It was refreshing to work on music as opposed to just rehearsing notes and rhythms. The high school kids were really awesome- they were all respectful and responsive and really wanted to do everything I suggested. I still don't wish I were the high school teacher though. I get just enough of a taste of the upper level kids, then I get to go back to my little goobers. I'm a middle school teacher at heart and I would get burnt out in a month if I taught high school. It has been nice working with the full symphony though.
I've played two Carmel Symphony concerts in the past couple weeks. My arms are sore and I'm lacking a few hours of sleep, but my brain and my heart are full of cello! I actually practiced more than I usually do for this last concert (Shostakovitch 5) and it was truly a revitalizing experience. I feel so honored and blessed to be a part of something so big. It made me a little sad that so many people will never get to experience the unique joy that I do when playing such a magical and romantic work as a member of a symphony orchestra. I don't always feel this way after a concert, most of the time I'm just tired and want to go to bed, but this one got to me. I'm so grateful to be given the ability to play music. And I'm even more grateful to be given the opportunity to introduce and teach music to the next generation.
Next post I'll recap ISSMA solo and ensemble (we hosted...!) and talk about how we do recruitment. But it's Sunday night and as you may or may not know, teachers don't sleep well on Sunday nights, and I should give myself plenty of time to roll around restlessly.
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Goin' to the Movies
*WARNING* This post is not really string teacher related and contains spoilers. I've spaced out my reviews though so you can skip over the movies you haven't seen and still want to see and read what I wrote about the ones you have seen. If you want. If you don't, screw you, get off my blog.
There are many things I enjoy doing on my vacation, but I truly cherish the minimal time I have set aside to relax. I have plenty of vacation, but often it is spent traveling, spending time with friends or family, cooking/cleaning, and catching up on school stuff. I have very few days set aside to do nothing. I enjoy reading a lot. Last night I stayed up until 2:00 am reading my Kindle (I've been trudging through "Casual Vacancy", JK Rowling's latest novel, for about 2 months and it finally got good so I'm trying to read it in one fell swoop before I lose interest again...) and the other morning I worked my way through a stack of US Weekly's that had been piling up (did you know princess Kate is having a baby?! And she was hospitalized with a severe form of morning sickness?!) which I know isn't exactly reading, so let's categorize that under "I enjoy celebrity gossip and trashy pop culture." But what I really enjoy the most when I'm relaxing is watching movies and/or a good TV series (last summer was Mad Men and I really want to watch Breaking Bad and Homeland all the way through- must find someone who owns them so I can borrow...) I've seen several movies this season and spent all of today at the theater watching the movies I knew I wouldn't get a chance to see again until they came out on BluRay. Here are my humble opinions about the movies I've seen this season. Please feel free to share with me your opinions as well- I love a good debate! (Although I'm much better in person what with my bossy personality and loud voice...)
The Hobbit
Loved it. Would pay to see it again in theaters. I actually read The Hobbit, unlike Lord of the Rings, so I feel it had potential to score poorly with me much like all of the Harry Potter films. I did not feel it was too long because I was entertained the whole time. There were a few additions to the story including Gandalf's cousin/brother/wizard-bro, Radagast, who I hear is very briefly mentioned in the Lord of the Rings trilogy, that I didn't much care for, but again, I was entertained so I don't mind. I loved Martin Freeman as Bilbo- I think he might be Bilbo in real life all stammery and blunderingly endearing. I liked the little throw back to Frodo and the birthday party, I loved Flight of the Conchords, Brett, as "Elrod's Elf Bitch", as my sister calls him, Gollum was as brilliant as ever and the Riddles in the Dark scene was very well done. I could just sit and list every scene and my comments would basically be- I really liked it. The only thing that keeps it from being perfect is the fact that it was not very deep- I didn't feel any emotion when watching other than contentment, which is just fine with me sometimes. So I give this one a hearty A-.
Les Miserables
I am a Les Mis fan, so I had misgivings going into this one. I was not disappointed overall. The singing was not good as a whole but the fact that I, a singer, a generally critical person all around, and one who is not easily impressed by many performances by untrained musicians, could overlook poor singing technique due to such powerful acting and cinematography is pretty amazing. The baracade boys were most impressive vocally, especially Enroljas. I liked his voice the best out of the whole cast. Marius was my second favorite if only I didn't have to watch his wobbly old woman jaw vibrato, blech! Hugh Jackman performed beautifully as an actor and added so much emotion to his character that I can forgive his through-the-nose singing and vibrato so wide you could drive a truck through it. Anne Hathaway stunned. Her performances as Fantine and as Cat Woman have all but washed away my hatred of her born from Princess Diaries, Devil Wears Prada, and her and James Franco's horrible horrible horrible hosting job at the Oscars. Helena Bonham Carter and Sacha Baron Cohen were a pleasant surprise and played very despicable Thenardiers, though a bit dark for my taste- could have used a bit more comical relief. And then there's poor Russell Crowe. I'm sorry Russ, I loved you as Maximus, but you just don't cut it as Javert. It was Crowe's horribly awkward performance, lack of any emotion in his singing or acting, and weird stiffly cupped hands that keeps Les Mis from receiving the highest marks from me. I give it a B+.
Life of Pi
Meh, it would have been better had I not read the book- it may have been more shocking or original. Kept pretty true to the book. Thought the white writer guy was dumb- like a low budget Ryan Reynolds. Should have had someone famous do a cameo, maybe Ryan Reynolds... Or they should have had a voice-over the whole time and cut out the whole author/interviewer aspect all-together. It adds nothing to the movie; if anything, it just makes the story feel unbalanced and interrupted. The animals were great: all very well-trained and well-used throughout. Graphics were very good. They definitely made a conscious effort to keep it kid friendly- I was kind of hoping to see a flashback when he tells the "different story" at the end. I thought the dreamy sequences while he stares into the water were dumb. Also thought they could have done a better job making him look more and more emaciated. The Pi actor did a good job, wasn't blown away. I give it a C+/B-.
This is 40
Well I'm not sure I've heard the F-word more times in 2 hours ever before in my life, that's for sure. My favorite variation was probably a cycling Paul Rudd's outraged cry at an SUV of pre-teens "...You Twilight-ass mother fuckers!" What can I say about this flick? There was no plot, just fight, make up, fight, make up, fight, make up, etc..., only a couple good laughs, and too much make-it-up-as-you-go dialogue. Improvising funny lines works (sometimes) on a sitcom, but there is no place for it in the movies. A redeeming aspect of the flick was how easily I think most married couples could relate to the couple's fights and the paths each fight took. In fact, I'm pretty sure I may have said some of those exact lines in real life. More than once... Also the actress who plays the younger daughter was mildly funny. No Dakota Fanning or even Olsen twin, but cute. Probably the best part about it for me was all the Lost references- very clever indeed. Jason Segal was a moderately funny addition with his personal training company "Bodies by Jason" and Melissa McCarthy's brief cameo as defensive mom, Catherine, was over the top as usual but also moderately funny. I give it a C-.
Silver Linings Playbook
This movie was absolutely brilliant. The only bad thing about it is the title. Refreshingly honest, great acting, clever dialogue, and some really hilarious moments- literal LOL stuff, puts this film at the top of my list this year. Bradly Cooper, who usually plays some kind of pompous douche bag in all his other movies, showed a side to his acting that I've never seen. It gives me a lot of respect for him and makes me wish he's take on more serious roles and do fewer chick flicks/action dude flicks. Jennifer Lawrence is no Katniss Everdeen in this one. She ignites both extremes of the acting spectrum with her flawless performance of her crass, blunt, yet oddly introspective crazy widow character. Robert De Niro is hilarious and is such a phenomenal actor. His character had the potential to be unrelateable and comical in a bad way, which would have spoiled the chemistry of this brilliant cast. However, he delivered the goods allowing this bizarre story to click in a way I never expected. I give SLP a solid A.
Lincoln
I can't say I'm feeling Best Picture with this one although Danial Day Lewis probably deserves Best Actor. His portrayal of Abe Lincoln was quite charming in every aspect: from the plodding way he walked to the long-winded slow patience of his exasperating story-telling. DDL was excellent all around, no doubt about it. Sally Fields as Mary Todd was only OK- I can't really put my finger on what I was disappointed in, other than maybe Lewis just outshone her. James Spader gave a fun, raw performance as Lincoln's most to-the-point hired vote-recruiter-guy. Freakin' Joseph Gordon Levitt improves every movie he's in, whether he's the star or a minor side character. He plays Lincoln's eldest son who yearns to enlist and I swear my favorite scenes were the ones that included him. And he was only in about 15 minutes of the movie! Boy, Tommy Lee Jones is old- all I could think about when he was in the shot was how much he resembled a toad. And I'm getting a little tired of Tommy Lee Jones playing Tommy Lee Jones in every single movie he is in. It's the 1860's for crying out loud, can we get K out of the House of Representatives? This movie was loaded with famous faces- including Moocher from Breaking Away- which irks me in an inexplicable way. Not that it's bad to have B-list/border-line A-list actors play one-liner roles, but I feel like it's like a false way to beef up the film or something. I dunno, maybe the actors all asked Spielberg if they could play a minor role in his movie and he was like, sure whatever, you can be General So-and-So and sit in this chair for 5 minutes of screen time. My opinion over all was that it was too long and too long-winded, but Lewis was excellent. I give it a B.
So there you have it- my unimportant opinions on some movies I saw recently. Ranking from favorite to least favorite here they are:
1. Silver Linings Playbook
2. The Hobbit
3. Les Miserables
4. Lincoln
5. Life of Pi
6. This is 40
Honorable mentions (saw these too but a while back):
- The Dark Knight Rises
- Avengers
- Looper
- Argo*
- The Amazing Spider Man
- Hunger Games
- Moonrise Kingdom*
*Also rank among my favs
There are many things I enjoy doing on my vacation, but I truly cherish the minimal time I have set aside to relax. I have plenty of vacation, but often it is spent traveling, spending time with friends or family, cooking/cleaning, and catching up on school stuff. I have very few days set aside to do nothing. I enjoy reading a lot. Last night I stayed up until 2:00 am reading my Kindle (I've been trudging through "Casual Vacancy", JK Rowling's latest novel, for about 2 months and it finally got good so I'm trying to read it in one fell swoop before I lose interest again...) and the other morning I worked my way through a stack of US Weekly's that had been piling up (did you know princess Kate is having a baby?! And she was hospitalized with a severe form of morning sickness?!) which I know isn't exactly reading, so let's categorize that under "I enjoy celebrity gossip and trashy pop culture." But what I really enjoy the most when I'm relaxing is watching movies and/or a good TV series (last summer was Mad Men and I really want to watch Breaking Bad and Homeland all the way through- must find someone who owns them so I can borrow...) I've seen several movies this season and spent all of today at the theater watching the movies I knew I wouldn't get a chance to see again until they came out on BluRay. Here are my humble opinions about the movies I've seen this season. Please feel free to share with me your opinions as well- I love a good debate! (Although I'm much better in person what with my bossy personality and loud voice...)
The Hobbit
Loved it. Would pay to see it again in theaters. I actually read The Hobbit, unlike Lord of the Rings, so I feel it had potential to score poorly with me much like all of the Harry Potter films. I did not feel it was too long because I was entertained the whole time. There were a few additions to the story including Gandalf's cousin/brother/wizard-bro, Radagast, who I hear is very briefly mentioned in the Lord of the Rings trilogy, that I didn't much care for, but again, I was entertained so I don't mind. I loved Martin Freeman as Bilbo- I think he might be Bilbo in real life all stammery and blunderingly endearing. I liked the little throw back to Frodo and the birthday party, I loved Flight of the Conchords, Brett, as "Elrod's Elf Bitch", as my sister calls him, Gollum was as brilliant as ever and the Riddles in the Dark scene was very well done. I could just sit and list every scene and my comments would basically be- I really liked it. The only thing that keeps it from being perfect is the fact that it was not very deep- I didn't feel any emotion when watching other than contentment, which is just fine with me sometimes. So I give this one a hearty A-.
Les Miserables
I am a Les Mis fan, so I had misgivings going into this one. I was not disappointed overall. The singing was not good as a whole but the fact that I, a singer, a generally critical person all around, and one who is not easily impressed by many performances by untrained musicians, could overlook poor singing technique due to such powerful acting and cinematography is pretty amazing. The baracade boys were most impressive vocally, especially Enroljas. I liked his voice the best out of the whole cast. Marius was my second favorite if only I didn't have to watch his wobbly old woman jaw vibrato, blech! Hugh Jackman performed beautifully as an actor and added so much emotion to his character that I can forgive his through-the-nose singing and vibrato so wide you could drive a truck through it. Anne Hathaway stunned. Her performances as Fantine and as Cat Woman have all but washed away my hatred of her born from Princess Diaries, Devil Wears Prada, and her and James Franco's horrible horrible horrible hosting job at the Oscars. Helena Bonham Carter and Sacha Baron Cohen were a pleasant surprise and played very despicable Thenardiers, though a bit dark for my taste- could have used a bit more comical relief. And then there's poor Russell Crowe. I'm sorry Russ, I loved you as Maximus, but you just don't cut it as Javert. It was Crowe's horribly awkward performance, lack of any emotion in his singing or acting, and weird stiffly cupped hands that keeps Les Mis from receiving the highest marks from me. I give it a B+.
Life of Pi
Meh, it would have been better had I not read the book- it may have been more shocking or original. Kept pretty true to the book. Thought the white writer guy was dumb- like a low budget Ryan Reynolds. Should have had someone famous do a cameo, maybe Ryan Reynolds... Or they should have had a voice-over the whole time and cut out the whole author/interviewer aspect all-together. It adds nothing to the movie; if anything, it just makes the story feel unbalanced and interrupted. The animals were great: all very well-trained and well-used throughout. Graphics were very good. They definitely made a conscious effort to keep it kid friendly- I was kind of hoping to see a flashback when he tells the "different story" at the end. I thought the dreamy sequences while he stares into the water were dumb. Also thought they could have done a better job making him look more and more emaciated. The Pi actor did a good job, wasn't blown away. I give it a C+/B-.
This is 40
Well I'm not sure I've heard the F-word more times in 2 hours ever before in my life, that's for sure. My favorite variation was probably a cycling Paul Rudd's outraged cry at an SUV of pre-teens "...You Twilight-ass mother fuckers!" What can I say about this flick? There was no plot, just fight, make up, fight, make up, fight, make up, etc..., only a couple good laughs, and too much make-it-up-as-you-go dialogue. Improvising funny lines works (sometimes) on a sitcom, but there is no place for it in the movies. A redeeming aspect of the flick was how easily I think most married couples could relate to the couple's fights and the paths each fight took. In fact, I'm pretty sure I may have said some of those exact lines in real life. More than once... Also the actress who plays the younger daughter was mildly funny. No Dakota Fanning or even Olsen twin, but cute. Probably the best part about it for me was all the Lost references- very clever indeed. Jason Segal was a moderately funny addition with his personal training company "Bodies by Jason" and Melissa McCarthy's brief cameo as defensive mom, Catherine, was over the top as usual but also moderately funny. I give it a C-.
Silver Linings Playbook
This movie was absolutely brilliant. The only bad thing about it is the title. Refreshingly honest, great acting, clever dialogue, and some really hilarious moments- literal LOL stuff, puts this film at the top of my list this year. Bradly Cooper, who usually plays some kind of pompous douche bag in all his other movies, showed a side to his acting that I've never seen. It gives me a lot of respect for him and makes me wish he's take on more serious roles and do fewer chick flicks/action dude flicks. Jennifer Lawrence is no Katniss Everdeen in this one. She ignites both extremes of the acting spectrum with her flawless performance of her crass, blunt, yet oddly introspective crazy widow character. Robert De Niro is hilarious and is such a phenomenal actor. His character had the potential to be unrelateable and comical in a bad way, which would have spoiled the chemistry of this brilliant cast. However, he delivered the goods allowing this bizarre story to click in a way I never expected. I give SLP a solid A.
Lincoln
I can't say I'm feeling Best Picture with this one although Danial Day Lewis probably deserves Best Actor. His portrayal of Abe Lincoln was quite charming in every aspect: from the plodding way he walked to the long-winded slow patience of his exasperating story-telling. DDL was excellent all around, no doubt about it. Sally Fields as Mary Todd was only OK- I can't really put my finger on what I was disappointed in, other than maybe Lewis just outshone her. James Spader gave a fun, raw performance as Lincoln's most to-the-point hired vote-recruiter-guy. Freakin' Joseph Gordon Levitt improves every movie he's in, whether he's the star or a minor side character. He plays Lincoln's eldest son who yearns to enlist and I swear my favorite scenes were the ones that included him. And he was only in about 15 minutes of the movie! Boy, Tommy Lee Jones is old- all I could think about when he was in the shot was how much he resembled a toad. And I'm getting a little tired of Tommy Lee Jones playing Tommy Lee Jones in every single movie he is in. It's the 1860's for crying out loud, can we get K out of the House of Representatives? This movie was loaded with famous faces- including Moocher from Breaking Away- which irks me in an inexplicable way. Not that it's bad to have B-list/border-line A-list actors play one-liner roles, but I feel like it's like a false way to beef up the film or something. I dunno, maybe the actors all asked Spielberg if they could play a minor role in his movie and he was like, sure whatever, you can be General So-and-So and sit in this chair for 5 minutes of screen time. My opinion over all was that it was too long and too long-winded, but Lewis was excellent. I give it a B.
So there you have it- my unimportant opinions on some movies I saw recently. Ranking from favorite to least favorite here they are:
1. Silver Linings Playbook
2. The Hobbit
3. Les Miserables
4. Lincoln
5. Life of Pi
6. This is 40
Honorable mentions (saw these too but a while back):
- The Dark Knight Rises
- Avengers
- Looper
- Argo*
- The Amazing Spider Man
- Hunger Games
- Moonrise Kingdom*
*Also rank among my favs
Monday, December 31, 2012
Old Lane's Eye
I can't speak for all teachers, but as a teacher I don't think of a year as January through December, I think of it as August through May/June. So when I look back at 2012, it's weird that I was in such a different place in January. I wasn't even thinking about leaving my current school to teach elsewhere, in fact I was planning out my schedule for "next year" and making sure I archived every homework assignment, test, or quiz that I created so I'd have it to use again: no fuss, no muss. In January I was prepping a hundred ill-prepared voice students to sing solos and ensembles at ISSMA, I was still teaching about 15 private students after school, and I was still playing in Carmel Symphony full time. Then everything changed in May and a new chapter of my life began. I have had a wonderful year- I can't really think of any low-lights except having to say goodbye to all of my friends and colleagues at my last school, and that was all for the best. Here are some highlights from this year, in no particular order:
- I take orchestra to organizational ISSMA for the first time and got a Gold with distinction
- The Super Bowl is held in Indianapolis
- I am hired at a school at which I truly wanted to work
- I get my first significant pay raise
- I celebrate my 2-year wedding anniversary with my best friend
- I make fudge for the first time and it turns out great
- I plant a garden on the side of the house
- I get a smart phone
- I take a group of students to All Region Orchestra for the first time
- I start blogging
- I teach my own class of beginning strings for the first time
- I am hired as a wedding manager for the first time
- Glenda Ritz is elected Superintendent of Schools in Indiana, thus giving Tony Bennett the boot
- IU basketball finishes the best season they've had in years and starts the next season ranked #1
- The Colts get Andrew Luck as their new quarter back
- I turn 25 and my dad turns 50 (yikes!)
- Aaron builds a stone patio with a fire pit off the back of the house
- Aaron puts in hardwood floors
- I lose 40 lbs
- We get closer to our small group and study the New Testament every Monday night
- Our puppy, Shelby, turns 1 year old- 7 in dog years
Every Christmas I watch It's A Wonderful Life. This year our whole family watched it on Christmas Eve. I find it fascinating that I can have watched this movie over 50 times yet I'm captivated each viewing. I can quote pretty much the whole movie line by line, except some of the lines are in my head as I learned them when I was ten. For an embarrassingly long time I thought "Auld Lang Syne" was "Old Lane's Eye" and I didn't understand that the strings around Uncle Billy's fingers were supposed to serve as reminders for things- I thought it was just something cooky that old Uncle Billy did. I understood the moral of the story; Clarence did an excellent job at illustrating how much George effected everyone's lives in Bedford Falls. But I thought when Harry referred to George as "the richest man in town" it was because everyone had just given him all their money. I've always had a secret fantasy of Clarence coming to show me what life would be like if I weren't born, but then I have a fear that nothing would be different and he would be like, "What was the point of this again? I got some Tom Sawyer to read..." I've never been a New Year's Resolution kind of person, but this year I am definitely going to continue working on putting others needs first. Maybe then everyone will give me all their money and I'll be the richest woman in town...
For Old Lane's eye, my dear
for Old Lane's eye
We'll take of cup of time uh yep
for Old Lane's eye
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Feedback
Holiday concert update:
Pros:
1. It's over
2. Every single member of my music department was there and played a significant role
3. My principal was there and raved about it's success on the next morning's announcements
4. I had only 4 kids out of 115 not participate. 2 actually showed up- 1 was out of uniform so he wasn't allowed on stage, 1 was without a cello so he wasn't allowed on stage. 1 girl told me ahead of time, albeit earlier that day, that she wouldn't be there because her family didn't celebrate Christmas and her dad wouldn't let her perform (couldn't tell me that ahead of time???) So only 1 no-show without notice.
5. We performed a full orchestra piece in the 8th grade and it sounded good
6. The Honor's Orchestra learned their carols well and played in the lobby
7. Nothing fell apart, musically speaking (a cello did fall apart, see Cons)
8. I had 3 wonderful high school students come help tune and direct kids- I brought them baked goods the next day.
9. No one died
10. Everyone got picked up on time
Cons:
1. I'm exhausted but can't sleep
2. My principal had to pull some students out of the audience for talking during the 8th grade performances
3. The big combined 7th/8th grade number that we rehearsed really well and that sounded great earlier in the day was really bad- almost the entire back of the orchestra was off by a measure or maybe 2, who knows?
4. Unenthusiastic crowd- makes it seem like nothing sounded good or maybe just not as good as they were expecting?
5. My 7th grade was not good
6. My Honor's Orchestra did really well given they could barely hold their piece together a week before the concert, but they didn't sound great which isn't great advertising for Honor's Orchestra
7. My kids don't practice and they're lazy
8. My kids don't respect their instruments- I returned to my cello rack to find over half the bows still tight, the instruments put back all crooked an every which way, and one cello missing a bridge with a big fat gouge under the tailpiece.
9. There was music left all over the stage that we, the staff, had to clean up
10. There were two basses and 3 bows left on stage
11. No parents approached me and said "Great concert" or anything
12. My kids said I talked too much and their parents said I talked too much. I didn't talk too much! I hardly talked at all!
I need some honest feedback! (Do I?) I do! It is making me crazy- I know what my kids and I went through to get to the concert and what we learned and what we will do better next time. I heard the recording. But I just haven't heard a musician-outsider's thorough opinion! It's frustrating because when no one goes into detail about my performances, it makes me paranoid that they just don't want to say anything negative. Like, so far all anyone has said is, "It was good! You know, there were some rough spots, but over all it was pretty good." That is not feedback, people! I need details! What was good? What was rough? What about it was good, what about it was rough? The most annoying part about all of this is that I know the answer to these questions and can go into great detail and explanation about them. I just want someone to talk to me about it, but no one will. And frankly I don't have many people whose opinions I trust enough to truly discuss with my concert in depth. And since I already know how the concert went and since everyone I've asked has already told me how things sounded, why do I still need feedback? Is it feedback or validation that I need? I don't even know. I'm so tired...
I just know my friends and family are going to roll their eyes at me and tell me to calm down, I'm being high maintenance and caring about the wrong things. I know I know I know- didn't you all hear me say I know? I'm a crazy person. But you know out of all the space in my brain that is being taken by thinking about this concert, 90% of the space is occupied by items in the Cons list and the tiny 10% of Pros are smushed to the back of my brain, rendered unimportant because no one has told them to me over and over and over... Seriously, what is up with my need for validation? I'm so tired...
Pros:
1. It's over
2. Every single member of my music department was there and played a significant role
3. My principal was there and raved about it's success on the next morning's announcements
4. I had only 4 kids out of 115 not participate. 2 actually showed up- 1 was out of uniform so he wasn't allowed on stage, 1 was without a cello so he wasn't allowed on stage. 1 girl told me ahead of time, albeit earlier that day, that she wouldn't be there because her family didn't celebrate Christmas and her dad wouldn't let her perform (couldn't tell me that ahead of time???) So only 1 no-show without notice.
5. We performed a full orchestra piece in the 8th grade and it sounded good
6. The Honor's Orchestra learned their carols well and played in the lobby
7. Nothing fell apart, musically speaking (a cello did fall apart, see Cons)
8. I had 3 wonderful high school students come help tune and direct kids- I brought them baked goods the next day.
9. No one died
10. Everyone got picked up on time
Cons:
1. I'm exhausted but can't sleep
2. My principal had to pull some students out of the audience for talking during the 8th grade performances
3. The big combined 7th/8th grade number that we rehearsed really well and that sounded great earlier in the day was really bad- almost the entire back of the orchestra was off by a measure or maybe 2, who knows?
4. Unenthusiastic crowd- makes it seem like nothing sounded good or maybe just not as good as they were expecting?
5. My 7th grade was not good
6. My Honor's Orchestra did really well given they could barely hold their piece together a week before the concert, but they didn't sound great which isn't great advertising for Honor's Orchestra
7. My kids don't practice and they're lazy
8. My kids don't respect their instruments- I returned to my cello rack to find over half the bows still tight, the instruments put back all crooked an every which way, and one cello missing a bridge with a big fat gouge under the tailpiece.
9. There was music left all over the stage that we, the staff, had to clean up
10. There were two basses and 3 bows left on stage
11. No parents approached me and said "Great concert" or anything
12. My kids said I talked too much and their parents said I talked too much. I didn't talk too much! I hardly talked at all!
I need some honest feedback! (Do I?) I do! It is making me crazy- I know what my kids and I went through to get to the concert and what we learned and what we will do better next time. I heard the recording. But I just haven't heard a musician-outsider's thorough opinion! It's frustrating because when no one goes into detail about my performances, it makes me paranoid that they just don't want to say anything negative. Like, so far all anyone has said is, "It was good! You know, there were some rough spots, but over all it was pretty good." That is not feedback, people! I need details! What was good? What was rough? What about it was good, what about it was rough? The most annoying part about all of this is that I know the answer to these questions and can go into great detail and explanation about them. I just want someone to talk to me about it, but no one will. And frankly I don't have many people whose opinions I trust enough to truly discuss with my concert in depth. And since I already know how the concert went and since everyone I've asked has already told me how things sounded, why do I still need feedback? Is it feedback or validation that I need? I don't even know. I'm so tired...
I just know my friends and family are going to roll their eyes at me and tell me to calm down, I'm being high maintenance and caring about the wrong things. I know I know I know- didn't you all hear me say I know? I'm a crazy person. But you know out of all the space in my brain that is being taken by thinking about this concert, 90% of the space is occupied by items in the Cons list and the tiny 10% of Pros are smushed to the back of my brain, rendered unimportant because no one has told them to me over and over and over... Seriously, what is up with my need for validation? I'm so tired...
Social Symphony
Last weekend I returned to play in the local symphony for the Holiday (CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS CHRISTMAS) concert. I hadn't performed with the group since the summer because since I started my new job, I've had conflicts with every concert and/or dress rehearsal until now. I didn't realize how much I missed it until I showed up at the first rehearsal and all my colleagues greeted me with surprised, genuine smiles and comments like, "You're back!" and "Well look what the cat dragged in..." and "We missed you!" and "I almost didn't recognize you with your hair down!" I call my fellow musicians "colleagues" not "friends" because, well, they're not my friends, but they greeted me like the Prodigal's Son. They made me feel like family and I interacted with them as if we had recently met for lunch and had long, meaningful conversations. We caught each other up on our lives during each 15 minute rehearsal break with quick sentences centered around jobs, family, and, well, that's it. Each conversation took approximately 30 seconds. It was weird though because each interaction with my musician colleagues wasn't forced or uncomfortable; I didn't feel the need to invent an exit strategy from the conversation ("OMG, is that Josh Bell?") and I didn't have to talk about the rehearsal ("So he is taking that blahblah piece is so fast! I'm pretty much faking, like, half the notes, you know?") or how tired I was ("Wow, I need some caffeine-these are late nights...") although all of these quotes were actually spoken at some point in time, minus the Josh Bell one. The atmosphere was just so familiar and comfortable. It was cozy, warm and friendly, like being wrapped up in a blanket of slightly awkward complements mixed with the one-armed hugs and jaw kisses of non-friends who are truly happy to see you.
I think the relationship between my description of these symphony rehearsals and my description of my feelings toward said rehearsals is, if you think about it, an accurate depiction of my personality and outlook in life. I am social, I care about people more than experiences, I enjoy being surrounded by people regardless of their level of love for me or I for them, I like to laugh and joke and smile even if the topic of conversation is not particularly funny, I liked to be noticed, I enjoy hugging and kissing strangers, I rate how good or bad my day was on how many people I made laugh, I take pleasure in external validation, whether it be about my musicianship, appearance or intelligence, I would rather have a 30 second conversation about nothing than quietly stand in like for the toilet, and I would rather have a job where I am bombarded with kids and other teachers every second of the day than have a job practicing and performing on the most beautiful musical instrument in the world (don't even fight me on this one, you know it's true.) It's never been a secret: I am a teacher first, cellist second. I've always hated practicing- bleh! Boring! I'm all alone? For more than an hour? And I have to do the same thing over and over? Gross. You mean there is a career in which I can boss other people around and they have to do what I say? Sign me up!
That said, there could not be another group of people with which I have this awkward yet comfortable, unconditionally friendly yet non-friend relationship. Is it the music that brings us together and forms that special bond or is the people that make the music so special in the first place? I don't really know and I don't really care. What I do know is this: in my opinion, the bonds formed while performing with an orchestra far outweigh the notes and rhythms- this I must remember when I teach.
Saturday, December 1, 2012
Holiday Hoedown
It is nearing that time again when I become a crazed lunatic whose patience is little and temper is hot. I've had a count down on my board of how many rehearsals left until our holiday concert since there were 15 rehearsals. We have reached the 4 rehearsals mark. I will announce the "Don't piss me off" disclaimer on Monday.
I may have bitten off a little more than I can chew for this one- at least that's what the panicked part of me thinks. The logical side of me is all like, "Dude, chill out, it's middle school orchestra..." Just last rehearsal I did something stupid. Like, really stupid. Ugh, why did I do it? So my 7th grade is playing "Angels we have heard on High" (spelled 'Angles we have heard on High' on many of their parts because I had a student make copies and she cut off the title and wrote it in that way...) and also "Holiday Waltz," which is a combined piece with the 8th grade. Then they are playing "Jingle Bells" flash mob style during one of our many stage transitions. They're going to be out in the audience and pop up to play the song by memory- it'll either be really awesome or really sloppy, but cute either way so who cares? But they were only going to be on stage by themselves for one piece and I felt bad for all the parents who came to see their kid perform and they only play for 1 minute and 30 seconds? Plus another 2 minutes with the 8th grade? So the very, very, stupid thing I did at the 5 rehearsal mark was add five pieces- one piece per section (easy 2-part stuff for soli violins, violas, cellos, and basses) and another large group piece called "Christmas Sampler." I decided if they weren't able to play everything I handed them semi-decently by the end of the block, we'd scrap the idea. It was risky because either way we're losing a rehearsal close to show time. But those little nuggets pulled it off with style. God love 'em, why couldn't they have just bombed and made it clear to me that I should just have stuck with Plan A?
The 8th grade is playing "Holiday Hoedown", a hilarious piece that cracks me up every time we rehearse it. It mixes like 50 Christmas carols with a bunch of fiddle tunes 2 bars at a time. Freakin' hilarious! They don't get it. "See?" I'll say, "It's funny!"
"I think only composers think it's funny."
"No, musicians think it's funny." Awwww burn! Anyway, they're playing that and then "Holiday Waltz" with the 7th grade. Then the other stupid thing I took on for this concert was a full orchestra piece. It's called "All is Calm," an arrangement of "Silent Night," and it is really gorgeous when it's played together and in tune and with all the right parts... I've had 2 really quick rehearsals with some of the strings and some of the winds that went relatively well, but I sincerely don't think we'll have everyone play at the same time until the night of the concert, which is scary. It's just so hard to get kids to attend extra rehearsals all at once, especially when they're band kids who are playing for free, so to speak. Though, I have been pleasantly surprised with how well the wind players are doing. They are all really sweet kids and they play with great tone quality and respond well to my conducting and direction. But like I said, we've yet to rehearse with all the parts, so if we pull this off it will be a miracle.
In addition to a combined 7th/8th grade piece and a full orchestra piece, I also have the new Honor's Orchestra performing. They are playing "Dona Nobis Pacem," which is the first piece they've played that is in the key of A major (G#'s are a bitch...) and it's slow and requires a lot of bow control. It's going well, but we haven't consistently played it through without someone dropping a beat and getting off. Plus this orchestra meets from 7:30 to 8:30 Monday and Wednesday mornings and inevitably at least 2 or 3 members will be missing from the 13 member group. These guys are also playing "Kwanzaa Celebration" (yay for diversity!), a piece with some African drums- it'll be a crowd-pleaser I think. In addition to the two pieces on stage, I've also planned for them to play carols in the lobby while people enter. I bought some books that should be easy to sight read and provide plenty of variety, however the books did not get delivered until after class on Friday, which means none of my Honor's Orchestra kids have seen the music yet. And we still have the other pieces to perfect and those 18 Christmas carols need to be learned and able to be played without me all in four 7:30-8:30 AM rehearsals. Yikes.
So in conclusion, here is what our Orchestra Holiday Concert looks like:
6:40-7:00 Honor's Orchestra Carols in the Lobby
7:00 7th grade Orchestra, Angles we have heard on High; 4 section pieces; Christmas Sampler
7:15 7th/8th grade Orchestras Holiday Waltz
7:20 Honor's Orchestra: Dona Nobis Pacem; Kwanzaa Celebration
7:25 Flash mob 7th grade Jingle Bells
7:30 8th grade Holiday Hoedown
7:35 Junior Symphonic Orchestra All is Calm
7:45 Pack up and go home
We work like slaves for 9 weeks to perform for 45 minutes. It makes me feel depressed. And panicked. Did I mention panicked?
I may have bitten off a little more than I can chew for this one- at least that's what the panicked part of me thinks. The logical side of me is all like, "Dude, chill out, it's middle school orchestra..." Just last rehearsal I did something stupid. Like, really stupid. Ugh, why did I do it? So my 7th grade is playing "Angels we have heard on High" (spelled 'Angles we have heard on High' on many of their parts because I had a student make copies and she cut off the title and wrote it in that way...) and also "Holiday Waltz," which is a combined piece with the 8th grade. Then they are playing "Jingle Bells" flash mob style during one of our many stage transitions. They're going to be out in the audience and pop up to play the song by memory- it'll either be really awesome or really sloppy, but cute either way so who cares? But they were only going to be on stage by themselves for one piece and I felt bad for all the parents who came to see their kid perform and they only play for 1 minute and 30 seconds? Plus another 2 minutes with the 8th grade? So the very, very, stupid thing I did at the 5 rehearsal mark was add five pieces- one piece per section (easy 2-part stuff for soli violins, violas, cellos, and basses) and another large group piece called "Christmas Sampler." I decided if they weren't able to play everything I handed them semi-decently by the end of the block, we'd scrap the idea. It was risky because either way we're losing a rehearsal close to show time. But those little nuggets pulled it off with style. God love 'em, why couldn't they have just bombed and made it clear to me that I should just have stuck with Plan A?
The 8th grade is playing "Holiday Hoedown", a hilarious piece that cracks me up every time we rehearse it. It mixes like 50 Christmas carols with a bunch of fiddle tunes 2 bars at a time. Freakin' hilarious! They don't get it. "See?" I'll say, "It's funny!"
"I think only composers think it's funny."
"No, musicians think it's funny." Awwww burn! Anyway, they're playing that and then "Holiday Waltz" with the 7th grade. Then the other stupid thing I took on for this concert was a full orchestra piece. It's called "All is Calm," an arrangement of "Silent Night," and it is really gorgeous when it's played together and in tune and with all the right parts... I've had 2 really quick rehearsals with some of the strings and some of the winds that went relatively well, but I sincerely don't think we'll have everyone play at the same time until the night of the concert, which is scary. It's just so hard to get kids to attend extra rehearsals all at once, especially when they're band kids who are playing for free, so to speak. Though, I have been pleasantly surprised with how well the wind players are doing. They are all really sweet kids and they play with great tone quality and respond well to my conducting and direction. But like I said, we've yet to rehearse with all the parts, so if we pull this off it will be a miracle.
In addition to a combined 7th/8th grade piece and a full orchestra piece, I also have the new Honor's Orchestra performing. They are playing "Dona Nobis Pacem," which is the first piece they've played that is in the key of A major (G#'s are a bitch...) and it's slow and requires a lot of bow control. It's going well, but we haven't consistently played it through without someone dropping a beat and getting off. Plus this orchestra meets from 7:30 to 8:30 Monday and Wednesday mornings and inevitably at least 2 or 3 members will be missing from the 13 member group. These guys are also playing "Kwanzaa Celebration" (yay for diversity!), a piece with some African drums- it'll be a crowd-pleaser I think. In addition to the two pieces on stage, I've also planned for them to play carols in the lobby while people enter. I bought some books that should be easy to sight read and provide plenty of variety, however the books did not get delivered until after class on Friday, which means none of my Honor's Orchestra kids have seen the music yet. And we still have the other pieces to perfect and those 18 Christmas carols need to be learned and able to be played without me all in four 7:30-8:30 AM rehearsals. Yikes.
So in conclusion, here is what our Orchestra Holiday Concert looks like:
6:40-7:00 Honor's Orchestra Carols in the Lobby
7:00 7th grade Orchestra, Angles we have heard on High; 4 section pieces; Christmas Sampler
7:15 7th/8th grade Orchestras Holiday Waltz
7:20 Honor's Orchestra: Dona Nobis Pacem; Kwanzaa Celebration
7:25 Flash mob 7th grade Jingle Bells
7:30 8th grade Holiday Hoedown
7:35 Junior Symphonic Orchestra All is Calm
7:45 Pack up and go home
We work like slaves for 9 weeks to perform for 45 minutes. It makes me feel depressed. And panicked. Did I mention panicked?
Wednesday, November 14, 2012
Feather Me Manipulative
I wish people simply gave to charity out of the goodness of their hearts without need of incentive or competition. Fortunately, 8th graders are easy to trick into doing things, so when there is an incentive that is desirable enough and a competition that is hot enough, it's the perfect storm for Mrs. Martin, Super Saleswoman! Here is the competition: to raise money for families in need during the holidays, the lunch room supervising teachers (yours truly and the rest of the poor souls who were assigned this duty) are selling paper feathers to students for $1.00. When a student buys a feather, he writes his name on it and tapes it to one of the the cafeteria windows. Whichever team (the school is divided into teams depending on their schedule and lunch times) purchases the most feathers wins a prize. In the past, the prize has been gym time during homeroom. This was what the prize was thought to be for the first week of the competition. My team, the Jaguars, bought a grand total of three feathers. Yeah, it was pretty indicative of their attitude for charity. "I don't have any money. They should be sending me food during the holidays!" "Who cares about gym time?" On Friday, it was announced that the competition had been extended to the following Wednesday and the prize would not be gym time, but instead a movie with free popcorn for the whole team in the auditorium, during the school day. Feather sales would soon start to increase.
On Monday I started my pitch. The Jaguar's feathers are black to match the color of their hearts and their lanyards. I took a big stack of black paper feathers and a silver marker and waved them above my head as I walked around to each round lunch table.
"Who's buying a feather today? Who wants that free movie day? Who wants to help give to families in need during the holidays?"
No hands shot up in response. I walked up to a table and bent down.
"Come on guys, who wants to donate a dollar? You guys could get a free movie day!" I said.
A curly-haired mixed kid responded, "There's no way we're going to catch the Cardinals. They have a full window filled already!"
The Cardinals are the honor's team. Their feather color is red. They're the rich kids, they're the white kids, they're the generous kids. I frankly love having them in class. They may be snobs, but they be snobs whose parents taught them manners. They donated lots of money before they even knew what the prize was. They are, of course, a bit cocky though.
"No, no, no. You guys don't get it. You see, the Cardinals won't see you coming. They're content. They sitting pretty. They have a comfortable lead. You have three measly feathers up there! You're a joke! That's why you're in the perfect position!"
The table of Jaguars stared a me. A skinny black girl with a bad hair weave spoke.
"But how we gonna get as many as them? They got like a hundred. We only got two days. We don't got a chance."
I countered, "Yes you do! If every Jaguar donated just one dollar, you could have a window covered by today! Trust me on this: you plan a sneak attack. Donate a ton at the last minute. No one will see it coming! It's the perfect plan!"
They Jaguar table looked at each other skeptically.
I tried another tactic. "How much do you pay to go see a movie?"
The mixed kid said, "Like, ten bucks. Plus popcorn and stuff, like twenty maybe."
The other Jaguars nodded in agreement.
"This is one dollar. Just one! Maybe two if you want to be safe."
"But what movie is it going to be?" a fat kid argued. "It's probably going to be like PG or something lame."
"Who cares?" I said, throwing my hands up theatrically. "It's during the school day! And you get free popcorn!"
I bent over lower.
"And you get a chance to beat the Cardinals without them even knowing it. See, you have lunch after them. You have the advantage of knowing exactly how many feathers they have, so you'll know exactly how many feathers you need to win. It's the perfect plan, guys. Trust me. It's seriously perfect. Imagine, the Jaguars, the team who came from only three feathers in the first week, winning the movie day..."
The Jaguars looked around at each other. I could see the wheels turning.
"How much for one feather?"
I smiled. "A dollar."
Two of the Jaguars dug their hands into their dirty jeans' pockets and pulled out some dollar bills.
"I'll take two."
"I'll take one."
I shouted, "Yeah, that's what I'm taking about! A Jaguar surge! A sneak attack! It's all you, you're going to win! Spread the word!"
I performed my act at a few more tables. I got $5.00 from one kid and several more single orders. By the end of Monday there were 20 black feathers on the cafeteria window and promises from several students to bring money the next day.
On Tuesday I spread my plan to more tables. The Jaguars were buzzing. One wiry blonde boy with crooked teeth tossed me a bag with $20.00 worth of quarters and dimes. I cheered them on and excitedly urged them to spread the word! Every Jaguar had to bring at least a dollar to win! By the end of Tuesday's lunch there were 83 black feathers on the window. There were 120 red feathers. The Jaguars were closing in...
Wednesday was the final day to donate. I told my homeroom that if everyone in our class gave at least a dollar, I would bring them candy on Friday, regardless of if they won the overall competition.
My sassy little Mexican girl who always, I mean every day, always, wears some form of leopard print said, "If we don't win, I want my money back!"
I looked at her. "What do you think this money is for?"
Everyone got quiet.
"You want your two dollars back? Really? For what? So you can buy Air Heads at the book store or a cookie in the lunch line? Come on. If you lose, you still will have given a lot of money to families who don't have food or warm clothes. You want your two dollars back if you don't get to watch a stupid movie?"
She shook her head. "Nah, I'm just playin'. They can keep it."
I let the silence hang for a bit. "Good," I said.
Another one of my homeroom students came into class a little late with a money bank full of change.
"There's $27.52 in here!" he exclaimed, slamming it down on my desk.
"Alright, awesome!" I said.
He asked, "Can I go around to all the homerooms and ask for spare change? We can just put 'Jaguars' or something on those feathers. Or just leave 'em blank, who cares? We're gonna win!"
He was practically jumping up and down. The rest of the class didn't even mock him or laugh under their breath like they usually would at anyone who showed the least bit of positive emotion. They all just smiled with excitement and said encouraging things like, "Wow, that's so awesome!" and "I have some change in my locker!" and "Can we, can we please go collect change, Mrs. Martin?!"
"OK," I said, "but ask the classroom teacher first and don't be disruptive! And be back in less than 10 minutes to finish your work!"
He and a friend rushed out the room, the coin bank clanking heavily.
After he left and the room was quiet with Jaguars working on their morning math, one of my girls looked over at me. She has never spoke to me respectfully the whole year. She is rarely in her seat when the bell rings and she usually is stirring up some kind of disruption by gossiping loudly or dancing in her seat to silent pop music, which she mouths obnoxiously.
She said, "If it weren't for you, we would still have three feathers."
She said it very frankly. Not like a complement, not like an accusation, just sort of stating a fact. She stared at me for a few more seconds before I said, "I know."
She turned back to her math and quietly started working.
The cafeteria was mayhem that day. Jaguars were rushing up to me with handfuls of crumpled dollar bills. Everyone was asking, "How many do we need?" and "Are we going to win?" The Cardinals had also brought their A game for the final day of donating. A whole other window was feathered red. I didn't count the red feathers. I just kept collecting Jaguar money and animatedly answering "I'm not sure, we're close though! Everyone needs to give or else it won't be possible!"
The final score after Wednesday's lunch: Jaguars- $161.00, Cardinals- $258.00 None of the other 5 teams were even close. I didn't tell the Jaguars they had lost. They left the cafeteria bumping fists and excitedly murmuring, "We could win, we could win!"
When I told one of my colleagues what I was doing, she said, "The kids you hate? These are the kids in your homeroom, right? These are the kids who give you all the trouble? Why are you helping them?"
I just shrugged. I don't know really. Maybe I got caught up in the competition. Maybe I love an underdog. Maybe I enjoyed tricking the black-feathered monsters into donating all their money to charity. I honestly can't say. All I know is that tomorrow I will feed my kids a story along the lines of, "There was one kid on the Cardinals that gave like $50.00 at the last minute." Or, "You were only about $20.00 behind! If only more people would have donate just one dollar, we could have done it!" Or, "We will hatch an even greater plan next time and we will win!"
I don't know if they got the message or understood that each those colored feathers on the window represented $1.00 and added together those feathers would feed several families Thanksgiving dinner. What I do know is that for those two short days, the Jaguars were a team. They encouraged, they fought together for a common cause (albeit a movie day and free popcorn), and they won me over. I know there are still going to be plenty of days when I could strangle the lot of them and walk away whistling Dixie, but now I've seen what they can be, and I know what role I can play, and now I know that every time, we will win.
On Monday I started my pitch. The Jaguar's feathers are black to match the color of their hearts and their lanyards. I took a big stack of black paper feathers and a silver marker and waved them above my head as I walked around to each round lunch table.
"Who's buying a feather today? Who wants that free movie day? Who wants to help give to families in need during the holidays?"
No hands shot up in response. I walked up to a table and bent down.
"Come on guys, who wants to donate a dollar? You guys could get a free movie day!" I said.
A curly-haired mixed kid responded, "There's no way we're going to catch the Cardinals. They have a full window filled already!"
The Cardinals are the honor's team. Their feather color is red. They're the rich kids, they're the white kids, they're the generous kids. I frankly love having them in class. They may be snobs, but they be snobs whose parents taught them manners. They donated lots of money before they even knew what the prize was. They are, of course, a bit cocky though.
"No, no, no. You guys don't get it. You see, the Cardinals won't see you coming. They're content. They sitting pretty. They have a comfortable lead. You have three measly feathers up there! You're a joke! That's why you're in the perfect position!"
The table of Jaguars stared a me. A skinny black girl with a bad hair weave spoke.
"But how we gonna get as many as them? They got like a hundred. We only got two days. We don't got a chance."
I countered, "Yes you do! If every Jaguar donated just one dollar, you could have a window covered by today! Trust me on this: you plan a sneak attack. Donate a ton at the last minute. No one will see it coming! It's the perfect plan!"
They Jaguar table looked at each other skeptically.
I tried another tactic. "How much do you pay to go see a movie?"
The mixed kid said, "Like, ten bucks. Plus popcorn and stuff, like twenty maybe."
The other Jaguars nodded in agreement.
"This is one dollar. Just one! Maybe two if you want to be safe."
"But what movie is it going to be?" a fat kid argued. "It's probably going to be like PG or something lame."
"Who cares?" I said, throwing my hands up theatrically. "It's during the school day! And you get free popcorn!"
I bent over lower.
"And you get a chance to beat the Cardinals without them even knowing it. See, you have lunch after them. You have the advantage of knowing exactly how many feathers they have, so you'll know exactly how many feathers you need to win. It's the perfect plan, guys. Trust me. It's seriously perfect. Imagine, the Jaguars, the team who came from only three feathers in the first week, winning the movie day..."
The Jaguars looked around at each other. I could see the wheels turning.
"How much for one feather?"
I smiled. "A dollar."
Two of the Jaguars dug their hands into their dirty jeans' pockets and pulled out some dollar bills.
"I'll take two."
"I'll take one."
I shouted, "Yeah, that's what I'm taking about! A Jaguar surge! A sneak attack! It's all you, you're going to win! Spread the word!"
I performed my act at a few more tables. I got $5.00 from one kid and several more single orders. By the end of Monday there were 20 black feathers on the cafeteria window and promises from several students to bring money the next day.
On Tuesday I spread my plan to more tables. The Jaguars were buzzing. One wiry blonde boy with crooked teeth tossed me a bag with $20.00 worth of quarters and dimes. I cheered them on and excitedly urged them to spread the word! Every Jaguar had to bring at least a dollar to win! By the end of Tuesday's lunch there were 83 black feathers on the window. There were 120 red feathers. The Jaguars were closing in...
Wednesday was the final day to donate. I told my homeroom that if everyone in our class gave at least a dollar, I would bring them candy on Friday, regardless of if they won the overall competition.
My sassy little Mexican girl who always, I mean every day, always, wears some form of leopard print said, "If we don't win, I want my money back!"
I looked at her. "What do you think this money is for?"
Everyone got quiet.
"You want your two dollars back? Really? For what? So you can buy Air Heads at the book store or a cookie in the lunch line? Come on. If you lose, you still will have given a lot of money to families who don't have food or warm clothes. You want your two dollars back if you don't get to watch a stupid movie?"
She shook her head. "Nah, I'm just playin'. They can keep it."
I let the silence hang for a bit. "Good," I said.
Another one of my homeroom students came into class a little late with a money bank full of change.
"There's $27.52 in here!" he exclaimed, slamming it down on my desk.
"Alright, awesome!" I said.
He asked, "Can I go around to all the homerooms and ask for spare change? We can just put 'Jaguars' or something on those feathers. Or just leave 'em blank, who cares? We're gonna win!"
He was practically jumping up and down. The rest of the class didn't even mock him or laugh under their breath like they usually would at anyone who showed the least bit of positive emotion. They all just smiled with excitement and said encouraging things like, "Wow, that's so awesome!" and "I have some change in my locker!" and "Can we, can we please go collect change, Mrs. Martin?!"
"OK," I said, "but ask the classroom teacher first and don't be disruptive! And be back in less than 10 minutes to finish your work!"
He and a friend rushed out the room, the coin bank clanking heavily.
After he left and the room was quiet with Jaguars working on their morning math, one of my girls looked over at me. She has never spoke to me respectfully the whole year. She is rarely in her seat when the bell rings and she usually is stirring up some kind of disruption by gossiping loudly or dancing in her seat to silent pop music, which she mouths obnoxiously.
She said, "If it weren't for you, we would still have three feathers."
She said it very frankly. Not like a complement, not like an accusation, just sort of stating a fact. She stared at me for a few more seconds before I said, "I know."
She turned back to her math and quietly started working.
The cafeteria was mayhem that day. Jaguars were rushing up to me with handfuls of crumpled dollar bills. Everyone was asking, "How many do we need?" and "Are we going to win?" The Cardinals had also brought their A game for the final day of donating. A whole other window was feathered red. I didn't count the red feathers. I just kept collecting Jaguar money and animatedly answering "I'm not sure, we're close though! Everyone needs to give or else it won't be possible!"
The final score after Wednesday's lunch: Jaguars- $161.00, Cardinals- $258.00 None of the other 5 teams were even close. I didn't tell the Jaguars they had lost. They left the cafeteria bumping fists and excitedly murmuring, "We could win, we could win!"
When I told one of my colleagues what I was doing, she said, "The kids you hate? These are the kids in your homeroom, right? These are the kids who give you all the trouble? Why are you helping them?"
I just shrugged. I don't know really. Maybe I got caught up in the competition. Maybe I love an underdog. Maybe I enjoyed tricking the black-feathered monsters into donating all their money to charity. I honestly can't say. All I know is that tomorrow I will feed my kids a story along the lines of, "There was one kid on the Cardinals that gave like $50.00 at the last minute." Or, "You were only about $20.00 behind! If only more people would have donate just one dollar, we could have done it!" Or, "We will hatch an even greater plan next time and we will win!"
I don't know if they got the message or understood that each those colored feathers on the window represented $1.00 and added together those feathers would feed several families Thanksgiving dinner. What I do know is that for those two short days, the Jaguars were a team. They encouraged, they fought together for a common cause (albeit a movie day and free popcorn), and they won me over. I know there are still going to be plenty of days when I could strangle the lot of them and walk away whistling Dixie, but now I've seen what they can be, and I know what role I can play, and now I know that every time, we will win.
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